It's been a while since I've updated so I thought I would swing in w/ a quick post. I've been extremely busy w/ the holidays and w/ school starting back up. This semester I'm taking MICRO and A&P 2. So far so good. I really really like the MICRO class. Every Tuesday and Thursday we do labs. That is so much fun since I can't remember the last time I did an actual lab. Well, it was probably way back when I was in HS Chemistry back in the 90's...haha. Outside of class I have to do the book work and do the online A&P class. This semester seems to be off to a great start. I'm hoping that I will do well in both classes. I'm such a perfectionist that it bothers me if I get less than an A on a test. I know I should be proud of a B, but I'm not. I study my butt off, literally, and it does pay off but I was hoping to be a straight A student. Last semester, I made a B in the A&P 1 class and that was WONDERFUL considering what I had gone through w/ the content of the material. I taught myself A&P and should be proud of that. Most can't say the same. Most people drop out of the class and repeat it or fail it. I was one of the few that stuck it out and did well in the end. My hard work did pay off but man, an A would have been awesome!
Anyways, on another note. Keeping updates on Gabe and I trying for another baby. We are trying but rather we do or don't have another baby, each day it gets easier to come to grips that we may not ever have another baby. I'm so blessed to have my little Tommy that not having another baby gives me that extra time to be with him. I do miss his baby days, but each day is such a gift to see how he is growing and all the things that he's learning. Even though I miss those "baby" days, I LOVE the age he is at now. I'm not looking forward to him growing up and being a teenager quite yet but I'm sure when that time comes, I'll deal with it. I've noticed lately that mom's have babies and then have to go back to work. Which is life and it just SUCKS! I am so thankful that I got to stay at home w/ Tommy. I had my mom watch him here and there but mainly kept him home with me and worked a full time job around him. It wasn't easy, but it sure was worth it. I think if you have the option to work at home w/ your baby vs. sending them to daycare, then you should take advantage of that. To me, those are precious times that you will NEVER get back. I did have Tommy in an in home daycare, but just briefly. I am not a fan of in home day cares. You never know what goes on behind closed doors in someone's house. I didn't feel comfortable w/ him being there and boy was I right. I pulled him out and continued to keep him home with me. If I should ever have another baby, I will NEVER opt for an in home daycare and do whatever possible to keep my child at home. Of course, you hear horror stories of public daycares so it doesn't even have to be a horror story in an in home daycare these days. I just reflect back and think of how fortunate I was to have gotten all that time w/ my perfect little angel! I still have the ability to have time with him at his school. I go to school but am home most of the time so it gives me the freedom to visit him at the school, help w/ the class, go to all of his school functions, and also to help w/ classroom parties. I see so many moms that don't have this option and of course there are some that are happy they don't. Either way, it is sad. I suppose if there was one thing I could ever brag about, it would be that I've been so lucky to have had a work at home job and then my current situation w/ going to school, and still being at home not having to work outside the house.
Speaking of baby making, ha, I saw my Dr. recently and she put me on progesterone. She said my progesterone was a little low. I have felt WONDERFUL since being on the progesterone. I've always thought something was wrong w/ my hormones even though all the lab tests say I'm fine. The progesterone makes me feel as though my hormones are regulated. I have more of a sex drive even though that maybe TMI. It is true and I hope to continue feeling this way. I've also began working out in the gym and I got a pair of the Sketchers Shape Ups. They actually work. My hamstrings get the most workout. I can tell a difference already in the appearance of my legs even though I've only had them a few days. I'm hoping to lose weight and of course keep trying for another little one. Either it happens or it just doesn't. If it doesn't, I do know in my heart that it's meant to be. I know as of right now, I just think of how happy I am that I could dedicate all of my time to one child. That in itself has been the best thing I've seen through all of the heartache of so many miscarriages. Rather we do or don't get pregnant, I will not discuss that on the blog. I would love to, but I would like to wait until I feel comfortable to share the good news. I have come to realize that sharing my pregnancy should only be shared with very few in the beginning. There are only few that have known about news (which I have not disclosed on the blog) we got in December as well as all the news that the Dr.'s have given us so far. I refuse to talk to anyone these days that haven't understood or cared for what Gabe and I had been through in the past. It is just something that I feel is kept between those that truly care about Gabe and I so that means, if I have eliminated telling certain people, there is a reason as to why. Most that goes on these days w/ trying for another baby is kept under wraps except for the blog and even the blog isn't detailed. We'll see one day if things happen for us, and if not, it's fine and I'm slowly getting to where I'm ok with it.
I also just have to vent for a minute when talking about having another baby. I think for someone to brag about their baby (purposely) to those that have miscarried or lost a child, really has some MAJOR sick twisted issues. This is all I have to say about that.
I'll post more later...as for now, it's a wrap...haha. ♥
~The foundation of who I am today~
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Monday, January 25, 2010
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
~Holidays are over~
It has been quite some time since my last post. I believe my last post was in November and now it is January of 2010! The holiday season was WONDERFUL. I'm extremely sad that they are over though. I LOVE Christmas, it is my favorite time of the year. Everything about Christmas is fun and exciting to me.
But before I continue talking about the holidays, I wanted to mention that I made a B in my A&P 1 class! That was a HUGE accomplishment. From what I understand, most people either drop out their first time taking the class or either have to repeat the course. I studied my butt off on a daily basis and it goes to show that my hard work and dedication paid off. It was one of the hardest, most challenging courses that I've taken so far. I've made all A's but I would have settled for a C in this particular class. I had tears of joy when I saw that I had made a B. Next week I begin A&P 2 and Microbiology. I got to chose my professors and they were recommended by several so hopefully this semester won't be as bad as the last. I STILL haven't taken my math placement test. Had I taken it already and placed high enough, I could have taken it this coming up semester and then applied for the nursing program. Well, I still may take the placement before the end of the week and see if there are any open seats in any of the classes. At this point, I'm not as concerned w/ how long it takes me to get into the nursing program as I am doing well in my classes. I've been very dedicated to my courses and want to continue that momentum.
So for the baby making, we are hoping that 2010 will be our year. At this point, I don't want to give up, but I'm also pretty content w/ all that God has blessed me with. I have a beautiful little boy that brings me an over abundance of happiness daily. I am also thankful that I get to spend as much time with him as I possibly can such as going to his school for lunch, going on his field trips, and helping w/ the classroom parties. If I had another child, my time would be divided so I'm extremely happy that as of now, it doesn't have to be and I can spend alot of time w/ my Tomster. There are days that I wonder if having another child is in my best interest. I love Tommy so much that I wonder if I would love another child equally. Yes, I've heard that you do but I just love Tommy so much that I can't really imagine me loving another person the way I love him. I'm sure if I had another child that I would but it is something that I wonder at times. Not to mention school. Nursing is a dream for me and there are things or obstacles I really don't want to get in the way of that. I wonder if having another child would damper my dreams of becoming a nurse, or would it not effect my schooling at all. These are all things that I consider when deciding to have another baby. We haven't given up, I'm not a quitter. I don't give in or up easily and it is hard for me to accept "no" as an answer. We have been doing everything right so hopefully when the time is right, things will fall into place and it will happen like we've been wanting. We did get some news in December but I don't feel comfortable discussing that at the moment. There could be people that read my posts that I would rather not know my business. Other than that, it just isn't something I want to discuss at the moment but maybe down the road. I have some wonderful Dr.'s that are doing all they can to help me and Gabe out in having another child. Like I said, I'm at the point where if it happens it happens, if it doesn't, I need to accept it and move on in order to have a happy fulfilling life. There seems to be more days than not that I'm more content w/ only having one child. A couple years back, it was the opposite. I was depressed and sad ALL the time wishing and hoping for another little one. Now, I am slowly coming to the realization that if Tommy is the only child we ever have, I am happy with that. He is my heart and my happiness. It makes me sad that he is growing up so fast but that's a fact of life. There is also new and exciting things happening at every stage in his life. I was worried I would be sad forever watching the time go by so fast and him growing up, but slowly, I'm also accepting that and enjoying all the stages of him growing up and all of the new things he is experiencing. It's pretty cool that we can do so much together now and he understands more and can do more w/ out my help. I still like for him to need me, and he does..lol.., but it is also nice to have a break sometimes and for him to do things independently. Pretty soon he'll be cooking for me and his daddy..haha! He loves to cook so watch out Food Network :-) The only thing I've thought about lately, which sounds so silly, is that I want to go on a Disney Cruise while he is still a child. I just think it would be more fun for him as a child than when he gets older. Who knows, maybe he would enjoy something like that the older he gets. I doubt we'll be taking a cruise anytime soon w/ paying out of pocket for my schooling but ya never know.
Well as far as the holiday season, we had a Christmas party but the turnout wasn't as big as it usually is. We had a lot of people say they were coming and back out on the day of. That is typical and happens every single year. I'm use to it by now, however, not sure I want to plan another party for next year or spend the money like I did this one. It gets too expensive to feed everyone and then most either come empty handed or purchase some cheap doughnuts at the store. I use to give out goody bags to the children, but since I've been laid off, it isn't something I can afford. And maybe I have this wrong, but since I'm the host, shouldn't my guests be bringing me a host gift? Never have I ever received a gift for hosting the Christmas parties. Shows how stingy my friends are..lol..JK!..... Tommy was the ONLY reason we had one this year. He LOVES the Christmas parties and asked me if we would have one. I said "no" but he really wanted one so I gave in. Yep, Tommy is my weakness, plus, he doesn't have that many kids to play with so I thought if anything, it would be fun for him. I was glad the party went down in size. I actually began to worry that I had over invited and wondered how in the world will my house accommodate all that said they were coming. The ones that did come are my closest friends anyways and some I haven't seen in a while. It was nice to see Shayla, Candace, and Amanda and of course everyone else but these 3 I hadn't seen in a while. Shayla is like my sister so it was AWESOME that she and her boys came. And I haven't seen Candace in so long. I've known her for years, all the way back to HS. She used to live right around the corner from me and would watch Tommy for me alot. She was always so good to Tommy, even to this day he wants me to fix cheese sandwiches like she did for him and the girls. I wish Candace never moved, we did alot together, we walked the neighborhood, would go shopping, got coffee drinks and our children played together all the time. I use to work w/ Amanda. Amanda and I don't see each other that much but we keep in touch pretty regularly. I went to the Southern Christmas show w/ her this year. All 3 of them are wonderful friends of mine and I'm so happy they all got to come that night. And Sheila came too! She is also another GREAT friend of mine! She is my hair dresser and I've also known her since HS. She stayed and hung out w/ me after everyone had left. We just had girl chat. Gabe and Tommy were in the bed while we were still up chatting away. We are talkers..hehe! She is also like my extended family. We've been up to her mom and dad's house in Lake Norman and cooked out w/ her dad and rode the jet skis. Her dad was very fond of Gabe and they got along great. I can't wait to go visit again this spring/summer. Our next party was New Years Eve. We got invited so many different placed but we had Tommy and I didn't feel comfortable being on the roads w/ him on one of the most drinking and driving nights of the year. We decided to have a small get together over her. Kami, Clint, Nik, Grayson, me, Gabe, Tommy, Alley, and Chris all celebrated the new year that night. We purchased Apples to Apples and played that. It was a lot of fun! I also had some really good wine that night to bring in the new year. We didn't go way out, smaller, more comfortable groups seem to be more my speed these days. I love having get togethers but as a host, it is hard to mingle w/ a large group of people so we have planned most things w/ smaller groups lately. It is more intimate and personal. I enjoy it that way. The next get together we are planning will be for the Super Bowl. It will pretty much be the same group except this time I'm hoping Shayla will be able to come. She had to work on New Years day so was unable to come for the NYE party and she has been really sick lately. I'm thinking by the time the Super Bowl rolls around, she will be feeling better. :-)
Anyways, this was just a small, quick update on things lately. I don't want to go into much detail because that would take too long..lol..Oh one more exciting thing we are doing, it begins tonight is the cake decorating class. My friend Alley told me about it, not sure if she is going but Gabe and I registered for it. I think it will be fun for the both of us, after all the Food Network is one of our favorite channels to watch. I'm hoping we learn enough to decorate Tommy a really cute cake by his birthday in March. We take 2, 2 hour classes for 2 weeks and then we move on to course 2. There are 4 courses so it will take a few weeks but I'm totally psyched!
I'll post more later ♥
But before I continue talking about the holidays, I wanted to mention that I made a B in my A&P 1 class! That was a HUGE accomplishment. From what I understand, most people either drop out their first time taking the class or either have to repeat the course. I studied my butt off on a daily basis and it goes to show that my hard work and dedication paid off. It was one of the hardest, most challenging courses that I've taken so far. I've made all A's but I would have settled for a C in this particular class. I had tears of joy when I saw that I had made a B. Next week I begin A&P 2 and Microbiology. I got to chose my professors and they were recommended by several so hopefully this semester won't be as bad as the last. I STILL haven't taken my math placement test. Had I taken it already and placed high enough, I could have taken it this coming up semester and then applied for the nursing program. Well, I still may take the placement before the end of the week and see if there are any open seats in any of the classes. At this point, I'm not as concerned w/ how long it takes me to get into the nursing program as I am doing well in my classes. I've been very dedicated to my courses and want to continue that momentum.
So for the baby making, we are hoping that 2010 will be our year. At this point, I don't want to give up, but I'm also pretty content w/ all that God has blessed me with. I have a beautiful little boy that brings me an over abundance of happiness daily. I am also thankful that I get to spend as much time with him as I possibly can such as going to his school for lunch, going on his field trips, and helping w/ the classroom parties. If I had another child, my time would be divided so I'm extremely happy that as of now, it doesn't have to be and I can spend alot of time w/ my Tomster. There are days that I wonder if having another child is in my best interest. I love Tommy so much that I wonder if I would love another child equally. Yes, I've heard that you do but I just love Tommy so much that I can't really imagine me loving another person the way I love him. I'm sure if I had another child that I would but it is something that I wonder at times. Not to mention school. Nursing is a dream for me and there are things or obstacles I really don't want to get in the way of that. I wonder if having another child would damper my dreams of becoming a nurse, or would it not effect my schooling at all. These are all things that I consider when deciding to have another baby. We haven't given up, I'm not a quitter. I don't give in or up easily and it is hard for me to accept "no" as an answer. We have been doing everything right so hopefully when the time is right, things will fall into place and it will happen like we've been wanting. We did get some news in December but I don't feel comfortable discussing that at the moment. There could be people that read my posts that I would rather not know my business. Other than that, it just isn't something I want to discuss at the moment but maybe down the road. I have some wonderful Dr.'s that are doing all they can to help me and Gabe out in having another child. Like I said, I'm at the point where if it happens it happens, if it doesn't, I need to accept it and move on in order to have a happy fulfilling life. There seems to be more days than not that I'm more content w/ only having one child. A couple years back, it was the opposite. I was depressed and sad ALL the time wishing and hoping for another little one. Now, I am slowly coming to the realization that if Tommy is the only child we ever have, I am happy with that. He is my heart and my happiness. It makes me sad that he is growing up so fast but that's a fact of life. There is also new and exciting things happening at every stage in his life. I was worried I would be sad forever watching the time go by so fast and him growing up, but slowly, I'm also accepting that and enjoying all the stages of him growing up and all of the new things he is experiencing. It's pretty cool that we can do so much together now and he understands more and can do more w/ out my help. I still like for him to need me, and he does..lol.., but it is also nice to have a break sometimes and for him to do things independently. Pretty soon he'll be cooking for me and his daddy..haha! He loves to cook so watch out Food Network :-) The only thing I've thought about lately, which sounds so silly, is that I want to go on a Disney Cruise while he is still a child. I just think it would be more fun for him as a child than when he gets older. Who knows, maybe he would enjoy something like that the older he gets. I doubt we'll be taking a cruise anytime soon w/ paying out of pocket for my schooling but ya never know.
Well as far as the holiday season, we had a Christmas party but the turnout wasn't as big as it usually is. We had a lot of people say they were coming and back out on the day of. That is typical and happens every single year. I'm use to it by now, however, not sure I want to plan another party for next year or spend the money like I did this one. It gets too expensive to feed everyone and then most either come empty handed or purchase some cheap doughnuts at the store. I use to give out goody bags to the children, but since I've been laid off, it isn't something I can afford. And maybe I have this wrong, but since I'm the host, shouldn't my guests be bringing me a host gift? Never have I ever received a gift for hosting the Christmas parties. Shows how stingy my friends are..lol..JK!..... Tommy was the ONLY reason we had one this year. He LOVES the Christmas parties and asked me if we would have one. I said "no" but he really wanted one so I gave in. Yep, Tommy is my weakness, plus, he doesn't have that many kids to play with so I thought if anything, it would be fun for him. I was glad the party went down in size. I actually began to worry that I had over invited and wondered how in the world will my house accommodate all that said they were coming. The ones that did come are my closest friends anyways and some I haven't seen in a while. It was nice to see Shayla, Candace, and Amanda and of course everyone else but these 3 I hadn't seen in a while. Shayla is like my sister so it was AWESOME that she and her boys came. And I haven't seen Candace in so long. I've known her for years, all the way back to HS. She used to live right around the corner from me and would watch Tommy for me alot. She was always so good to Tommy, even to this day he wants me to fix cheese sandwiches like she did for him and the girls. I wish Candace never moved, we did alot together, we walked the neighborhood, would go shopping, got coffee drinks and our children played together all the time. I use to work w/ Amanda. Amanda and I don't see each other that much but we keep in touch pretty regularly. I went to the Southern Christmas show w/ her this year. All 3 of them are wonderful friends of mine and I'm so happy they all got to come that night. And Sheila came too! She is also another GREAT friend of mine! She is my hair dresser and I've also known her since HS. She stayed and hung out w/ me after everyone had left. We just had girl chat. Gabe and Tommy were in the bed while we were still up chatting away. We are talkers..hehe! She is also like my extended family. We've been up to her mom and dad's house in Lake Norman and cooked out w/ her dad and rode the jet skis. Her dad was very fond of Gabe and they got along great. I can't wait to go visit again this spring/summer. Our next party was New Years Eve. We got invited so many different placed but we had Tommy and I didn't feel comfortable being on the roads w/ him on one of the most drinking and driving nights of the year. We decided to have a small get together over her. Kami, Clint, Nik, Grayson, me, Gabe, Tommy, Alley, and Chris all celebrated the new year that night. We purchased Apples to Apples and played that. It was a lot of fun! I also had some really good wine that night to bring in the new year. We didn't go way out, smaller, more comfortable groups seem to be more my speed these days. I love having get togethers but as a host, it is hard to mingle w/ a large group of people so we have planned most things w/ smaller groups lately. It is more intimate and personal. I enjoy it that way. The next get together we are planning will be for the Super Bowl. It will pretty much be the same group except this time I'm hoping Shayla will be able to come. She had to work on New Years day so was unable to come for the NYE party and she has been really sick lately. I'm thinking by the time the Super Bowl rolls around, she will be feeling better. :-)
Anyways, this was just a small, quick update on things lately. I don't want to go into much detail because that would take too long..lol..Oh one more exciting thing we are doing, it begins tonight is the cake decorating class. My friend Alley told me about it, not sure if she is going but Gabe and I registered for it. I think it will be fun for the both of us, after all the Food Network is one of our favorite channels to watch. I'm hoping we learn enough to decorate Tommy a really cute cake by his birthday in March. We take 2, 2 hour classes for 2 weeks and then we move on to course 2. There are 4 courses so it will take a few weeks but I'm totally psyched!
I'll post more later ♥
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