Colorful Joy Christmas Card
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~The foundation of who I am today~
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Saturday, December 15, 2012
5x7 Folded Card
Colorful Joy Christmas Card
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5x7 Folded Card
Colorful Joy Christmas Card
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Monday, September 3, 2012
What a rocky week!
Well, this week has been a tad rocky that's for sure. Just knowing that I've now went through a 7th MC is enough. Friday the nurse called and said my Hcg level was a 1.3 which is great, means I won't have to get a D&C but then again, it was the end of the pregnancy. I have an appointment w/ my RE on the 12th to discuss options. I really want one more baby. I told Gabe that if we lived in a perfect world and I never had any problems, we'd have a house full of children. I love kids!!! I want Matthew to have a sibling close to his age.
I've done well holding it together. I had a couple of bad days but I'm so busy w/ the boys that I don't have time to sulk or really think about it. The only time it occurs to me the most is when I change clothes or take a shower and see a huge bruise on my stomach where I did a Heparin injection. That is a constant reminder but luckily it will fade. I've tried my best to occupy my mind and stay busy which isn't hard w/ a toddler and a 5th grader. LOL
We plan on trying again soon and all we can do is trust that whatever happens, it's in God's hands.
On a happier note, we went out of town to the mountains for Labor Day weekend and cooked out today. We went to Linville Caverns and I got to see my aunt in Boone. I'm not sure if she'll be around much longer so it was so nice to see her. We just dropped in for a little bit but Matthew was getting cranky so we couldn't stay long. :( I want to go visit her again within the next month. We did a lot of driving around, went to the Mast General Store and a few other places. Today, we had my mom and Tommy's best friend, Nick, over for the cookout. I love having people over.
It turned out to be a wonderful weekend with friends and family.
I've done well holding it together. I had a couple of bad days but I'm so busy w/ the boys that I don't have time to sulk or really think about it. The only time it occurs to me the most is when I change clothes or take a shower and see a huge bruise on my stomach where I did a Heparin injection. That is a constant reminder but luckily it will fade. I've tried my best to occupy my mind and stay busy which isn't hard w/ a toddler and a 5th grader. LOL
We plan on trying again soon and all we can do is trust that whatever happens, it's in God's hands.
On a happier note, we went out of town to the mountains for Labor Day weekend and cooked out today. We went to Linville Caverns and I got to see my aunt in Boone. I'm not sure if she'll be around much longer so it was so nice to see her. We just dropped in for a little bit but Matthew was getting cranky so we couldn't stay long. :( I want to go visit her again within the next month. We did a lot of driving around, went to the Mast General Store and a few other places. Today, we had my mom and Tommy's best friend, Nick, over for the cookout. I love having people over.
It turned out to be a wonderful weekend with friends and family.
Friday, August 24, 2012
~What a ride!
I have been on one hell of a ride for the past couple of weeks. Gabe and I made the decision that we wanted to try for another baby. We tried only once and wah lah, I got a positive pregnancy test on Aug. 13th.
As happy as we were, something didn't feel right from the beginning. I was extremely emotional and cried A LOT. I even called my mom over the weekend once everyone went to bed and cried like the biggest baby. I wasn't sure what was going on but I did know something felt abnormal. I didn't recall feeling this way with either of my boys, I only felt this way when I MC. That's the only time I really took such an emotional downward spiral. I should be happy, what is wrong with me?!? Was I nervous about having 3 children, 1 of which would be a toddler and the other a newborn?!? I couldn't figure it out, all I knew was that I felt really really sad, I even cried because I was missing the beach. Ummm, I've cried when leaving the beach but not usually once I'm home. The beach IS my happy spot. It takes away all of my stresses and at the time of my phone call to my mom, I was stressing.
She seemed to be down as well so I thought, well maybe it's just something in the air, maybe it's summer coming to an end, maybe it's that I have a now 5th grader, maybe it's because Matthew is growing so quickly, maybe it's because I wanted to do more on our trips to the beach this year etc. etc. etc. I thought of a gazillion reasons I felt down and then it hit me, something is wrong w/ this pregnancy. I had been cramping from the beginning. I know this can be normal, but this wasn't. I never take pain meds for anything and I could have taken something for this pain.
I called my Dr. on Aug. 17th to let them know our happy news. She asked had I gotten blood work done to confirm the pregnancy, I said no. So I went Monday, Aug. 20th to get labs. They took several different labs to check everything and make sure everything was ok. I had began spotting, either that morning or the day before and was worried sick. I knew they would call w/ bad news. They called to say my Hcg level was a 44. That's not very high for where I needed to be so they wanted to re-check my Hcg and also check my progesterone on Wednesday. They called to say my Hcg was at a 72 and my progesterone was at a 6. Both still low. At this point they put me on 81 mg Aspirin, Heparin 2x's a day and Crinone 8%. Of course they wanted to re-check both today. I gave the nurse Gabe's number because I just get tired of hearing bad news and I feel as though he conveys it better to me and if I cry, it's ok.
The nurse contacted Gabe and said my Hcg had went down and to stop all medications. I go back on the 31st for more labs and to schedule an appointment w/ my RE.
I had Matthew so maybe he can try the same treatment plan to see if that works. I really would love to have one more but if not, I'm perfectly content w/my 2 sweet angels. If I don't have a 3rd, it just wasn't meant to be. I don't want to go down a road of heartache and struggling, I want to enjoy my time w/ the 2 that I have.
I've had such wonderful support and so many reaching out to me during this time.It has kept my spirits up just knowing that I have people that care. I had many messages from friends, phone calls and texts. It's always great to have those who pick you up.
I'm staying positive and haven't cried that much. Mainly because I felt as though something was wrong from the beginning. I figured if I kept struggling to carry this baby that it may have something wrong with it or maybe I'd lose it later down the road. I want a healthy pregnancy, not one that starts off like this.
I said the positives are that I can have a strong drink, all the caffeine that I want and Gabe can massage my feet. This is trying to see the light during a difficult time.
God knows best and I'll leave it in his hands.
As happy as we were, something didn't feel right from the beginning. I was extremely emotional and cried A LOT. I even called my mom over the weekend once everyone went to bed and cried like the biggest baby. I wasn't sure what was going on but I did know something felt abnormal. I didn't recall feeling this way with either of my boys, I only felt this way when I MC. That's the only time I really took such an emotional downward spiral. I should be happy, what is wrong with me?!? Was I nervous about having 3 children, 1 of which would be a toddler and the other a newborn?!? I couldn't figure it out, all I knew was that I felt really really sad, I even cried because I was missing the beach. Ummm, I've cried when leaving the beach but not usually once I'm home. The beach IS my happy spot. It takes away all of my stresses and at the time of my phone call to my mom, I was stressing.
She seemed to be down as well so I thought, well maybe it's just something in the air, maybe it's summer coming to an end, maybe it's that I have a now 5th grader, maybe it's because Matthew is growing so quickly, maybe it's because I wanted to do more on our trips to the beach this year etc. etc. etc. I thought of a gazillion reasons I felt down and then it hit me, something is wrong w/ this pregnancy. I had been cramping from the beginning. I know this can be normal, but this wasn't. I never take pain meds for anything and I could have taken something for this pain.
I called my Dr. on Aug. 17th to let them know our happy news. She asked had I gotten blood work done to confirm the pregnancy, I said no. So I went Monday, Aug. 20th to get labs. They took several different labs to check everything and make sure everything was ok. I had began spotting, either that morning or the day before and was worried sick. I knew they would call w/ bad news. They called to say my Hcg level was a 44. That's not very high for where I needed to be so they wanted to re-check my Hcg and also check my progesterone on Wednesday. They called to say my Hcg was at a 72 and my progesterone was at a 6. Both still low. At this point they put me on 81 mg Aspirin, Heparin 2x's a day and Crinone 8%. Of course they wanted to re-check both today. I gave the nurse Gabe's number because I just get tired of hearing bad news and I feel as though he conveys it better to me and if I cry, it's ok.
The nurse contacted Gabe and said my Hcg had went down and to stop all medications. I go back on the 31st for more labs and to schedule an appointment w/ my RE.
I had Matthew so maybe he can try the same treatment plan to see if that works. I really would love to have one more but if not, I'm perfectly content w/my 2 sweet angels. If I don't have a 3rd, it just wasn't meant to be. I don't want to go down a road of heartache and struggling, I want to enjoy my time w/ the 2 that I have.
I've had such wonderful support and so many reaching out to me during this time.It has kept my spirits up just knowing that I have people that care. I had many messages from friends, phone calls and texts. It's always great to have those who pick you up.
I'm staying positive and haven't cried that much. Mainly because I felt as though something was wrong from the beginning. I figured if I kept struggling to carry this baby that it may have something wrong with it or maybe I'd lose it later down the road. I want a healthy pregnancy, not one that starts off like this.
I said the positives are that I can have a strong drink, all the caffeine that I want and Gabe can massage my feet. This is trying to see the light during a difficult time.
God knows best and I'll leave it in his hands.
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Summer's almost over :'(
Wow, it's been forever since I've updated my blog. Finding the time is ridiculously difficult.
Matthew is growing like a weed. He's 16 months and is such a hoot. He is beginning to copy my facial expressions and it's hilarious! He says dada, mama, and really tries hard to say Tommy. He does know how to tell me when he's hungry by his sign language. He puts his tiny hand to his mouth, that means he's hungry. It's actually the only sign language I've taught him but whatever, he's a fast learner. He runs all over the place and is now climbing on every single thing and trying to jump. He keeps me on my toes. Matthew eats pretty much what we do and doesn't like to be fed, his preference is to feed himself. He has been off the bottle for quite a while now, at least over a month. I've been really bad about nursing him when I had just about weened him in May. I now nurse pretty much whenever he wants but I really need to start weening him since it seems to get more difficult trying to get him off the "boob".
Tommy is an excellent big brother but still has some jealousy issues. My heart breaks for Tommy because he seems to be struggling with some anger issues, especially with other children. I don't want him to have that kind of life, not having many friends because he's so head strong. He's very similar to me and reminds me a lot of myself growing up. I wasn't a bully but I was the Alpha. I wanted to be the leader and still have some of those tendencies. I always want to be in control because if not, I feel as though my world is spiraling out of control and I just know he feels the same way. Even though head strong, he has the purest heart and is extremely sensitive, still doesn't like to see me upset. I just LOVE that boy! He's my sweet boy though, still loves his momma to death. We still have such a strong bond no matter what.
We've had a pretty crazy summer. We went to the beach a total of 3 weeks. Two of the weeks, Gabe went down with us, one week it was just my mom, myself and the boys, that was a difficult week but we made it work. We didn't get to do much when Gabe wasn't down except swim since I didn't feel comfortable being on the beach chasing Matthew and looking after Tommy. Tommy did get to take his best friend Nick on our last trip. They got along really well until the end of the week. Tommy would get so bossy. It made the vacation a little stressful but Nick is my other son, he didn't pay Tommy any attention and still loves him to death. That's real friendship, when you can see the bad/ugly and still want to be friends because no matter what, the pros outweigh the cons. We didn't get to do as much this summer as I would've liked. My sister didn't bring the kiddos into town so it was me, Tommy and Matthew every single day. We stayed home A LOT! We did get to Carowinds a few times. Otherwise, Tommy just played w/ the neighborhood kids while I entertained Matthew.
I've been an emotional wreck lately, crying here and there for sometimes no reason at all. I cried every time we left the beach. Mainly because I knew summer was coming to an end, school was about to begin and Gabe had to go back to work and I miss him when he's not here. Plus, I feel bad for Tommy, I think his summer has been pretty boring so we need more time before school begins. And also, because the beach is like my second home. It's my happy spot. I even cried once I got home just missing being there with everyone. Time really does go by WAY too fast :(
As for Tommy and I, we both are starting school. I began my MAT161 class last week and Tommy begins 5th grade on Aug. 22nd. WOW...a 5th grader!!!! My gosh, I still remember holding his tiny little hand walking him into Kindergarten. Just another thing to add to my emotional list, just wishing time would slow down. (I actually cry over this a lot).
Other than our crazy emotions, even though school is beginning and summer is coming to an end, I'm looking forward to fall, pumpkins, Halloween and Christmas (which is my favorite holiday), then we can start looking forward to the summer again. I've determined I need to live somewhere like Florida because I could careless for the winter unless it's snowing.
This was our summer in a nut shell....I really need to get better about updating my blog :)
Matthew is growing like a weed. He's 16 months and is such a hoot. He is beginning to copy my facial expressions and it's hilarious! He says dada, mama, and really tries hard to say Tommy. He does know how to tell me when he's hungry by his sign language. He puts his tiny hand to his mouth, that means he's hungry. It's actually the only sign language I've taught him but whatever, he's a fast learner. He runs all over the place and is now climbing on every single thing and trying to jump. He keeps me on my toes. Matthew eats pretty much what we do and doesn't like to be fed, his preference is to feed himself. He has been off the bottle for quite a while now, at least over a month. I've been really bad about nursing him when I had just about weened him in May. I now nurse pretty much whenever he wants but I really need to start weening him since it seems to get more difficult trying to get him off the "boob".
Tommy is an excellent big brother but still has some jealousy issues. My heart breaks for Tommy because he seems to be struggling with some anger issues, especially with other children. I don't want him to have that kind of life, not having many friends because he's so head strong. He's very similar to me and reminds me a lot of myself growing up. I wasn't a bully but I was the Alpha. I wanted to be the leader and still have some of those tendencies. I always want to be in control because if not, I feel as though my world is spiraling out of control and I just know he feels the same way. Even though head strong, he has the purest heart and is extremely sensitive, still doesn't like to see me upset. I just LOVE that boy! He's my sweet boy though, still loves his momma to death. We still have such a strong bond no matter what.
We've had a pretty crazy summer. We went to the beach a total of 3 weeks. Two of the weeks, Gabe went down with us, one week it was just my mom, myself and the boys, that was a difficult week but we made it work. We didn't get to do much when Gabe wasn't down except swim since I didn't feel comfortable being on the beach chasing Matthew and looking after Tommy. Tommy did get to take his best friend Nick on our last trip. They got along really well until the end of the week. Tommy would get so bossy. It made the vacation a little stressful but Nick is my other son, he didn't pay Tommy any attention and still loves him to death. That's real friendship, when you can see the bad/ugly and still want to be friends because no matter what, the pros outweigh the cons. We didn't get to do as much this summer as I would've liked. My sister didn't bring the kiddos into town so it was me, Tommy and Matthew every single day. We stayed home A LOT! We did get to Carowinds a few times. Otherwise, Tommy just played w/ the neighborhood kids while I entertained Matthew.
I've been an emotional wreck lately, crying here and there for sometimes no reason at all. I cried every time we left the beach. Mainly because I knew summer was coming to an end, school was about to begin and Gabe had to go back to work and I miss him when he's not here. Plus, I feel bad for Tommy, I think his summer has been pretty boring so we need more time before school begins. And also, because the beach is like my second home. It's my happy spot. I even cried once I got home just missing being there with everyone. Time really does go by WAY too fast :(
As for Tommy and I, we both are starting school. I began my MAT161 class last week and Tommy begins 5th grade on Aug. 22nd. WOW...a 5th grader!!!! My gosh, I still remember holding his tiny little hand walking him into Kindergarten. Just another thing to add to my emotional list, just wishing time would slow down. (I actually cry over this a lot).
Other than our crazy emotions, even though school is beginning and summer is coming to an end, I'm looking forward to fall, pumpkins, Halloween and Christmas (which is my favorite holiday), then we can start looking forward to the summer again. I've determined I need to live somewhere like Florida because I could careless for the winter unless it's snowing.
This was our summer in a nut shell....I really need to get better about updating my blog :)
Friday, March 9, 2012
~Oh how time flies
The next couple of months are going to be pretty busy. This month, Tommy has a visit to the GWL w/ his best friend for a weekend, which he doesn't know...it's a surprise as well as painting the spirit rock at his school, then his birthday party the next weekend. We have Easter coming up so we'll be at the beach for spring break. When we come back, we'll be preparing for Matthew's 1 year birthday as well as painting the spirit rock for that at Tommy's school. I'm not sure how in the world I'm going to get all of this done.
I have ordered both of their cakes but am yet to begin gift purchases, decorations, and invitations. I'm mainly concerned about Matthew's since I've done most of the planning already for Tommy's. We were also thinking about renting a sports car for one of the weekends to drive around in for Tommy's bday. Not sure if we are going to do that but it sounds fun!
As for Matthew's party...it's a "crab" theme. I love beach decor so this is going to be really cute. Haven't decided what all to do as of yet. I had some things in mind, it's just finding the time to finish it all. I was hoping things would be easier at Matthew's age, but instead, I find myself chasing him around about all day. :)
So what all's been going on???
Matthew is approaching 11 months. I can't believe it! Time surely has passed us by this past year. Doesn't seem real! It seems like just a couple of weeks ago I was in the hospital giving birth to him. Makes me so sad that most of the "baby" days are gone and he's almost a toddler. I find myself pinning things on Pinterest which relate to newborns. Does that mean I'm ready for another baby...why YES I am, however, I would like to wait and re-visit this thought when Matthew is a little older. I surely don't want him to be the middle child that is always left out. Took me 7 years to have this perfect little boy, I want to spend as much time w/ him as I can. I recently had a conversation w/ Gabe about the age difference between Tommy and Matthew. I was saying how I wish Tommy had a sibling closer to his age and why shouldn't we give Matthew that opportunity. Gabe is on board 100% and is ready for another little one when I am.
What has Matthew been up to? He's a busy busy baby. He crawls all over the place and fast!!! He has cut his 2 bottom incisors. His smile is adorable w/ those 2 bottom teeth. He has also been standing for a few seconds at a time without any assistance. I keep waiting for that first step which I have a feeling he's going to take pretty soon. He's finally interested in baby food. He has a wide variety of foods that I give him and I also give him the same things we eat....that are baby approved of course. I still find that sweet potatoes are his favorite and he seems fond of about all fruits, especially the orange/banana. He also eats grits and LOVES mashed potatoes. He's going to be a meat and potatoes boy for sure. He's had a tad of constipation problems w/ the foods and does quite a bit of grunting before having a dirty diaper. He laid on my chest earlier today and just grunted and grunted. I changed that diaper, laid him in his crib for a nap and heard him grunting again. Yep, another dirty diaper. That's one thing I don't miss about actual food...those nasty, smelly diapers! I'm still nursing and I'm extremely proud of myself. It takes great dedication and hard work to nurse a baby. I actually enjoy it and when I do decide to give him milk, juice, water etc. instead, it's going to break my heart but I can't nurse forever. I'm someone ready to get back to being myself, yet I will miss that time between us.
Some of his likes....baths. He LOVES taking a bath and playing w/ his bath toys. It's so adorable! He could stay in the bath all night if you'd let him. He also likes to crawl around everywhere and open cabinet doors. We need to get the cabinet locks but I am constantly watching him so nothing is going to happen. He also likes to crawl all over the couch in which I don't like because I'm constantly having to pull him back to me so he doesn't fall off. He likes playing peek a boo or any fun game such as that. He falls asleep when I sing to him and enjoys being rocked. He also enjoys Tommy playing with him. That's when he cackles the most. I love it!!!!
His dislikes.....He recently has discovered a great dislike for his exersaucer, his pack and play and car seat. I know these are mainly because he's crawling and thinks he's a big boy now and doesn't like to be confined. I will say that even though he's not extremely fond of his crib, he does go down for naps fairly well. He definitely sleeps better in his crib when it's nap time. I've been working on getting him on a "crib" schedule. Every day he goes in there for his nap before we get Tommy from school. I STILL haven't transitioned him to the crib at night. They say the highest risk for SIDS is up to a year old so I just can't bring myself to put him in there. I wouldn't get a wink of sleep! So as of right now, he sleeps in his daddy's arms and has done that now for quite a while. He's safe...I don't care what anyone says. Tommy slept in Gabe's arms from the time he was a teeny tiny baby until I finally got him in his crib which was around a year.
We did have a speed bump in the scheduling process last weekend. We decided to take the boys to the beach and this was right when Matthew had gotten pretty good about taking a nap in his crib. Our trip was very relaxing. We took the boys, Skittles and HALO. Went down Thursday night, the beach on Friday and the skate park as well as going to the Original Benjamin's so Tommy could have crab legs. Saturday it rained all day so we did a little shopping and just relaxed the rest of the time and Sunday we came home.
One of the reasons I really needed this relaxing trip is because a couple of weeks ago, Matthew had this crying spell for a few days. I'm still not sure what it was. I took him to his pediatrician and she couldn't find anything wrong and suggested it could be that he's cutting teeth. She believes his top 2 teeth will cut through soon. I ended up taking a cotton swab, dabbing it in Benadryl and rubbing on his gums as well as administering Tylenol. He was on that for a couple of days and is fine now. I'm not a huge believer in medicating when it's not necessary so he doesn't get any of that unless he's clearly in some pain. I still haven't felt his 2 top teeth....I check everyday.
What's Tommy been up to? Oh goodness....this boy is going through some hard emotions. He cries A LOT and seems so angry. He's openly told me he's jealous of Matthew so I NEVER leave Matthew alone w/ Tommy. I do believe Tommy would pinch him or do something so that Matthew would cry, however, I don't believe he would do anything severe. Who knows though! It's really frustrating to me because I love both of my boys, they both mean the world to me but I get so angry with Tommy when he acts out. I HATE jealousy!!!! It's just not pretty on anyone! Tommy is also struggling at school w/ his math homework. He did go a few days without whining or arguing but we are back to where we were. He yells, tells his dad and I how he hates us and wishes we were dead. This is NOT my son!!! Tommy is still very caring and sweet, don't get me wrong, but he now has these emotions that I don't know how to deal with. I'm not use to this what so ever. He's always been so good at home until he turned 8, then things began to take a 180. I understand being jealous of Matthew, but that's no excuse for his bad behavior. Matthew has gotten to where he gets mad if Tommy picks him up. He can sense Tommy isn't fond of him even though I have to say, they were awfully cute playing today. Usually when Matthew firsts sees Tommy such as in the morning or after school, he gives Tommy HUGE smiles and then Tommy starts his mess and Matthew's attitude changes towards him. Really makes me sad because Tommy doesn't understand that Matthew has no clue what right and wrong is. He doesn't understand jealousy, all he understands is that he's happy to see his big brother and big brother is mean to him. I don't like it at all! Every single day has became so emotionally draining that I have no clue what to do at this point. I've tried taking things away, spankings, restriction, his Dr.....NOTHING is working! I've been consistent and Tommy just laughs at me. A lot of parents that I've talked to say it's not just jealousy, it's their age. That they've had boys that have went through similar stages and that around 12 it gets better. Guess we'll see. I just know that I love Tommy with my entire heart and I hate to see him battling all these emotions all the time. He's still that sweet lil boy when it's just me and him. I wish I could have that all the time because that's MY Tommy....kind, sweet, sensitive and loves his momma. I find myself being very dismissive towards him such as he tries to show me something or tell me something and I say ok...but haven't heard a word he has said or seen what he was trying to show me. I don't want to be that parent! The one that never acknowledges their child. I've always been so dedicated to him and since having Matthew, things are so different. I know it will get easier but it really does break my heart that I can't dedicate more time to Tommy. Matthew has just about all of my time right now. I keep it in the back of my head that things will get easier and I will be able to put more focus back into Tommy.
Tommy's 10 year old birthday is this month. Man, that's hard to type...or say without choking up. Man....If I only knew how time would fly once he began school. This year is a blur. It doesn't seem like June should be right around the corner for his 4th grade graduation. I will have a 5th grader next year???? His little days are gone!!!! I cry every single year around his birthday and I know this year is going to be pretty hard, possibly even harder than any of the previous birthdays since he's now going to be in the double digits. I still see taking him to pre-k and him calling one of his teachers Mrs. Splenda when her name was Mrs. Glenda and he would come home saying this little boy in his class was named Ant, when his name was Gant. I can still feel that tiny hand in mine walking him to kindergarten every single day and helping a lot in his kindergarten and 1st grade and how he would cry when I would leave. Those days are over and what I wouldn't do to have them all back again. This is the first time I've really had the chance to sit and think about his little days since Matthew has been born. They both are growing up so quickly. I'm not ready for either of them to grow so fast.
As for this weekend, we have a 5K race we are going on and we are dedicating some time to yard clean up. I want the yard to look nice for Matthew's party. I don't plan on having a ton of people, just my closest friends/family and their children which most are older but that's ok. Matthew won't know the difference. :)
Monday, January 30, 2012
~My World~
All about my world lately. Matthew is now over 9 months old. Every single day is a new adventure. He's now crawling fairly well. He still sleeps in my room or in daddy's arms. I cleaned his room over the weekend and it looks SO good. Amazingly enough, his room STILL isn't finished. I'm only one person and I'm not that great w/ a hammer and nail so unfortunately it seems to be up to me to complete it. I recently ordered the quote, "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be" and put it above his closet. While hanging the quote, Matthew played in his crib and had the best time. He would pull himself up, hold onto the railing and jump on his mattress. Funny, he had a mom that did the same thing when she was little until she popped the thing. HA! He was all giggles. It's so cute to see him in his crib, I'm just wondering if he'll ever sleep in the thing. I'm such a paranoid person so I've been unable to bring myself to putting him in his room at night. He's had several naps in his room but is yet to sleep all night in there.
Other things Matthew's been up to lately. He's been blowing raspberries for while and now takes his fingers to his mouth and makes some new noises. Oh, something else he does that's hilarious is roll his eyes at me. I had a coffee one morning and he's was fighting me over that thing. Since I wouldn't let him have any, he rolled his eyes at me 3 times. Now he does it just to get me to laugh. It's the FUNNIEST thing EVER! He's also eating baby food now. He has stage 3 occasionally and even has the yogurt melts broken up. He still doesn't seem interested in a sippy cup so he either nurses or takes a bottle. He isn't interested in any other liquid except for breast milk. His day pretty much goes like this: Wakes up, nurses, take Tommy to school, get mom a coffee, come back eats some fruit, nurses, takes a nap, plays, nurses, go pick Tommy up, eats veggies/or stage 2/3 meals, nurses, plays, may take a nap but not usually, eats again (maybe or just nurses) plays then it's bedtime. We'll be lucky to get in a bath 4 times a week which is still a lot for their sensitive skin. This isn't exactly how his day goes but pretty close.
He's had a cough for several days and had immunizations scheduled today so I held out on taking him to the Dr. until today. Sadly, he's got a respiratory virus which could be RSV. He didn't get his immunizations today because he needs to be well in order to get those. He had a nebulizer treatment in the office today and will be doing treatments for the next 4 weeks. Tommy came home w/ a cough a few weeks ago but only had it for 2 days, then I got it and was miserable w/ the cough and sore throat, and now Matthew has it. All 3 or us were so different. Tommy got better really fast, I'm still coughing but it was more like a common cold and Matthew is wheezing. I had no clue that he had that bad of a virus and then I found out today that it's highly contagious. I thought he had a cold at worst. Just breaks my heart and I'm trying my best not to worry about him. His pediatrician didn't seem worried and she's an excellent Dr. so I am trusting her. He came home w/a cute frog nebulizer that's his to keep. Matches his frog humidifier.
What's been up w/ Tommy lately. He's still rowdy and like a live wire after school but that boy holds such a special place in my heart. I got upset w/ him tonight over the messes he makes and then felt so bad about it. He's so strong and deals w/ so much. He has to deal w/ Gabe and I not getting along as much as we should and I know that takes a toll on him. I honestly believe it's why he acts out the way he does. He said the other day that he acts out because his daddy and I don't get along and I don't like his daddy. Yes, some of this is true but I try my best to be that perfect wife but there's a history that many don't understand or should I say, they haven't walked in my shoes. So it does break my heart that I can't hug on his daddy the way I would like w/ my husband. I really wish I could take my children and move to a less hectic environment. Gabe and Tommy still argue every single night over homework and Gabe says some pretty nasty things to Tommy. Makes my heart break but no matter what I say, Gabe is going to do whatever he wants and treat Tommy however he feels. Like I said, Tommy is such a strong little boy and has been through so much. One of the sweetest memories I have w/ him was a day I picked him up from school when he was in 2nd grade, I began crying on the way home and he automatically knew I had had a miscarriage. When we pulled into the driveway, he hurried up, got out of the car and came up to me in the driver's seat and gave me a HUGE hug! He has not only dealt with my depression for years, he's had to deal w/ his dads as well. This little boy loves like no other and has a HUGE heart even if he is rowdy. He still doesn't like to see me upset and will cry if I cry. :'( There are days where I just want to go somewhere just me and him to show him how important he is to me. It's been so hard w/ Matthew and I miss just me and Tommy time and I can tell he does too. I know it's hard for him to understand that Matthew depends 100% on me so I can't just drop what I'm doing and do what he wants me to. Over time, it really gets to me. I love both of my boys but have found it so difficult to spread out my time equally. Things are so different now and I'm pretty sure Tommy is adjusting but it's been challenging.
As for school, he loves his teacher. Mr. "A" and his teacher is very fond of him. He's making good grades except for a C in math. He's really struggling w/ math this year but I don't blame him fully. He began a new school last year, his teacher left before Christmas and after Christmas he comes back to a new teacher whom couldn't control her class. I didn't feel as though he was learning much last year and I've seen it across the board w/ the 4th graders. I have thought about putting him into Kumon to help w/his math. I am willing to try anything at this point.
Oh oh oh.....Boy do I have a surprise coming for Tommy's birthday. His dad and I got 2 nights at the Great Wolfe Lodge and we are taking his best friend, Nik. It's all arranged and I'm so excited. He's also having a birthday party at a sports center w/ all of his friends. Oh, and we rented the rock at his school so we could paint it for his birthday. He has NO clue!!! I love surprising him and really wanted to go big this year planning his very special day.
As for Matthew, we're planning him a "crab" themed birthday. It's going to be at the house and another birthday I'm so excited about. The rock at Tommy's school is also rented for this so that Tommy can paint it. It's going to be a busy next couple of months but anything for my babies.
Will write later :)
Other things Matthew's been up to lately. He's been blowing raspberries for while and now takes his fingers to his mouth and makes some new noises. Oh, something else he does that's hilarious is roll his eyes at me. I had a coffee one morning and he's was fighting me over that thing. Since I wouldn't let him have any, he rolled his eyes at me 3 times. Now he does it just to get me to laugh. It's the FUNNIEST thing EVER! He's also eating baby food now. He has stage 3 occasionally and even has the yogurt melts broken up. He still doesn't seem interested in a sippy cup so he either nurses or takes a bottle. He isn't interested in any other liquid except for breast milk. His day pretty much goes like this: Wakes up, nurses, take Tommy to school, get mom a coffee, come back eats some fruit, nurses, takes a nap, plays, nurses, go pick Tommy up, eats veggies/or stage 2/3 meals, nurses, plays, may take a nap but not usually, eats again (maybe or just nurses) plays then it's bedtime. We'll be lucky to get in a bath 4 times a week which is still a lot for their sensitive skin. This isn't exactly how his day goes but pretty close.
He's had a cough for several days and had immunizations scheduled today so I held out on taking him to the Dr. until today. Sadly, he's got a respiratory virus which could be RSV. He didn't get his immunizations today because he needs to be well in order to get those. He had a nebulizer treatment in the office today and will be doing treatments for the next 4 weeks. Tommy came home w/ a cough a few weeks ago but only had it for 2 days, then I got it and was miserable w/ the cough and sore throat, and now Matthew has it. All 3 or us were so different. Tommy got better really fast, I'm still coughing but it was more like a common cold and Matthew is wheezing. I had no clue that he had that bad of a virus and then I found out today that it's highly contagious. I thought he had a cold at worst. Just breaks my heart and I'm trying my best not to worry about him. His pediatrician didn't seem worried and she's an excellent Dr. so I am trusting her. He came home w/a cute frog nebulizer that's his to keep. Matches his frog humidifier.
What's been up w/ Tommy lately. He's still rowdy and like a live wire after school but that boy holds such a special place in my heart. I got upset w/ him tonight over the messes he makes and then felt so bad about it. He's so strong and deals w/ so much. He has to deal w/ Gabe and I not getting along as much as we should and I know that takes a toll on him. I honestly believe it's why he acts out the way he does. He said the other day that he acts out because his daddy and I don't get along and I don't like his daddy. Yes, some of this is true but I try my best to be that perfect wife but there's a history that many don't understand or should I say, they haven't walked in my shoes. So it does break my heart that I can't hug on his daddy the way I would like w/ my husband. I really wish I could take my children and move to a less hectic environment. Gabe and Tommy still argue every single night over homework and Gabe says some pretty nasty things to Tommy. Makes my heart break but no matter what I say, Gabe is going to do whatever he wants and treat Tommy however he feels. Like I said, Tommy is such a strong little boy and has been through so much. One of the sweetest memories I have w/ him was a day I picked him up from school when he was in 2nd grade, I began crying on the way home and he automatically knew I had had a miscarriage. When we pulled into the driveway, he hurried up, got out of the car and came up to me in the driver's seat and gave me a HUGE hug! He has not only dealt with my depression for years, he's had to deal w/ his dads as well. This little boy loves like no other and has a HUGE heart even if he is rowdy. He still doesn't like to see me upset and will cry if I cry. :'( There are days where I just want to go somewhere just me and him to show him how important he is to me. It's been so hard w/ Matthew and I miss just me and Tommy time and I can tell he does too. I know it's hard for him to understand that Matthew depends 100% on me so I can't just drop what I'm doing and do what he wants me to. Over time, it really gets to me. I love both of my boys but have found it so difficult to spread out my time equally. Things are so different now and I'm pretty sure Tommy is adjusting but it's been challenging.
As for school, he loves his teacher. Mr. "A" and his teacher is very fond of him. He's making good grades except for a C in math. He's really struggling w/ math this year but I don't blame him fully. He began a new school last year, his teacher left before Christmas and after Christmas he comes back to a new teacher whom couldn't control her class. I didn't feel as though he was learning much last year and I've seen it across the board w/ the 4th graders. I have thought about putting him into Kumon to help w/his math. I am willing to try anything at this point.
Oh oh oh.....Boy do I have a surprise coming for Tommy's birthday. His dad and I got 2 nights at the Great Wolfe Lodge and we are taking his best friend, Nik. It's all arranged and I'm so excited. He's also having a birthday party at a sports center w/ all of his friends. Oh, and we rented the rock at his school so we could paint it for his birthday. He has NO clue!!! I love surprising him and really wanted to go big this year planning his very special day.
As for Matthew, we're planning him a "crab" themed birthday. It's going to be at the house and another birthday I'm so excited about. The rock at Tommy's school is also rented for this so that Tommy can paint it. It's going to be a busy next couple of months but anything for my babies.
Will write later :)
Saturday, January 7, 2012
~WELCOME 2012! A new year, a new beginning!
Sheeesh, got 2011 out of the way. What an amazing year it was. We were so blessed to have our 2nd wonderful baby boy.
So now, here it is Jan. 7, 2012. In 7 more days, Matthew will be 9 months old. That's right, 9 months old! Where does the time go? I know it's a silly question, but it really seems like yesterday that I was delivering him. Even though the time is flying, every stage is such a new and wonderful adventure.
Today, Matthew began saying "Ba...ba...ba...", you get the point..LOL...This was the first time he's used the "B" so I thought it was cute! I was trying to tell him "ball" and he would just watch me as I would speak w/ that precious little grin of his.
Every single day I run my finger around his mouth to see if he's cutting teeth. We went to Buy Buy Baby last weekend and got all kinds of things we still needed. I spend way too much money there! I got him these teethers that help w/ cutting teeth. He's chewed on those about all week and loves them. As I ran my finger across his gums today, I felt 2 tiny teeth cutting through on the bottom. I was so happy! I went downstairs and told Gabe to wash his hands really well. He kept asking why but I wouldn't tell him. I said it's a surprise. So Gabe ran his finger over his gums and was just as excited as me.
It was a milestone I wanted to make sure and record since I've been so slack jotting down everything. I documented every single thing w/ Tommy but it just seems as though the time is passing me right by and I never have a moment to keep track of all of Matthew's milestones. :(
I can't believe I'll be having his 1 year party in a little over 3 months. Doesn't seem right. Not sure why I get the baby blues when they grow so quickly. I really really enjoy the toddler stages. They are probably my favorite!
So eating....Well he's finally beginning to eat more than just milk. I gave him chicken and veggies this week along w/ mac and cheese. Both he ate some of, however, still not a huge fan of baby food. He would much rather eat good food than the nasty baby food any day. He did have a tiny bit of a cookie which he was so excited to have.
This week I also cooked a meal without being stressed. I know it may sound small but this was HUGE to me. I love to cook and have missed being in the kitchen preparing a meal for my family. Going out to eat gets old. I fed Matthew really well, put him in his highchair w/ a couple of toys and he sat there contently and watched me cook. He wasn't in the kitchen but right outside of it so I could see him and he could see me. He would have a melt down if I'm out of sight. Sometimes when Gabe is holding him and I walk by, he will immediately start crying. I believe that's because I'm a bottle walking past him. haha!
Anyways, I made taco soup. It's one of my favorite meals on a chilly day, it makes a lot, it's easy, and my family really likes it. It was a nice change from fast food or going out to eat.
So other happenings this week. Tommy began coughing on Sunday, ended up staying out of school Wednesday and Thursday. I don't believe his teacher was too happy but what do you do, children get sick. Tommy did feel well enough to do his math homework and did very well. Right now he's working on fractions. I've always enjoyed fractions and I see that Tommy is grasping the concepts so he's enjoying it for right now.
He's been really good this week and has been really sweet to Matthew. We had a long discussion one day about how Matthew can't defend for himself and Tommy has a huge responsibility as the older brother to help in protecting him. I can tell the talk has helped and I didn't excuse any jealousy. That is no reason to act out towards Matthew so instead I asked that Tommy comes to us and discusses his feelings vs. taking it out on his baby brother.
Other things this week....Tonight we met my niece and her boyfriend, Sheldon, for dinner. This was the first night meeting him and they seem to make the cutest couple. He's very sweet and attentive to Courtney. Tommy also has his friend Nik over for the night. I know Nik's mom from volunteering at the school last year. She does a lot of volunteer work at the school and I was blessed to get to know such a wonderful group of ladies. Tommy also had a basketball game this morning and Nik is on his team and they are in class together. Nik is kinda like my other son. He's done a lot w/ us. I've taken him to Carowinds a couple of times, he's stayed over multiple times and he's went to the mountains w/ us for the weekend. I'm so happy that he was able to stay over tonight since Tommy has been asking me for months but since our house has been under so much construction, it was just too messy. They get along so well and I adore Nik's parents.
This week, Gabe and I discussed moving. My sister called begging me to consider moving to OR. I told her she wouldn't like me if I moved out there. LOL. Gabe has been busy looking for jobs on the West Coast, however, I still don't know if that's where I want to be. I'm too much of a beach bum (NC,SC shores). I do want to move, but it's all in where the money is. I don't really enjoy it here anymore. I feel like I'm stuck in a rut and can't seem to get out. I don't have that much of a social life and it would be nice to meet some new faces and get to know some new people. It's not the only reason I'd like to move, there are many.
Well, it's past my bedtime but I will try my best to do better at blogging. I can't let all of my children's memories slip away.
So now, here it is Jan. 7, 2012. In 7 more days, Matthew will be 9 months old. That's right, 9 months old! Where does the time go? I know it's a silly question, but it really seems like yesterday that I was delivering him. Even though the time is flying, every stage is such a new and wonderful adventure.
Today, Matthew began saying "Ba...ba...ba...", you get the point..LOL...This was the first time he's used the "B" so I thought it was cute! I was trying to tell him "ball" and he would just watch me as I would speak w/ that precious little grin of his.
Every single day I run my finger around his mouth to see if he's cutting teeth. We went to Buy Buy Baby last weekend and got all kinds of things we still needed. I spend way too much money there! I got him these teethers that help w/ cutting teeth. He's chewed on those about all week and loves them. As I ran my finger across his gums today, I felt 2 tiny teeth cutting through on the bottom. I was so happy! I went downstairs and told Gabe to wash his hands really well. He kept asking why but I wouldn't tell him. I said it's a surprise. So Gabe ran his finger over his gums and was just as excited as me.
It was a milestone I wanted to make sure and record since I've been so slack jotting down everything. I documented every single thing w/ Tommy but it just seems as though the time is passing me right by and I never have a moment to keep track of all of Matthew's milestones. :(
I can't believe I'll be having his 1 year party in a little over 3 months. Doesn't seem right. Not sure why I get the baby blues when they grow so quickly. I really really enjoy the toddler stages. They are probably my favorite!
So eating....Well he's finally beginning to eat more than just milk. I gave him chicken and veggies this week along w/ mac and cheese. Both he ate some of, however, still not a huge fan of baby food. He would much rather eat good food than the nasty baby food any day. He did have a tiny bit of a cookie which he was so excited to have.
This week I also cooked a meal without being stressed. I know it may sound small but this was HUGE to me. I love to cook and have missed being in the kitchen preparing a meal for my family. Going out to eat gets old. I fed Matthew really well, put him in his highchair w/ a couple of toys and he sat there contently and watched me cook. He wasn't in the kitchen but right outside of it so I could see him and he could see me. He would have a melt down if I'm out of sight. Sometimes when Gabe is holding him and I walk by, he will immediately start crying. I believe that's because I'm a bottle walking past him. haha!
Anyways, I made taco soup. It's one of my favorite meals on a chilly day, it makes a lot, it's easy, and my family really likes it. It was a nice change from fast food or going out to eat.
So other happenings this week. Tommy began coughing on Sunday, ended up staying out of school Wednesday and Thursday. I don't believe his teacher was too happy but what do you do, children get sick. Tommy did feel well enough to do his math homework and did very well. Right now he's working on fractions. I've always enjoyed fractions and I see that Tommy is grasping the concepts so he's enjoying it for right now.
He's been really good this week and has been really sweet to Matthew. We had a long discussion one day about how Matthew can't defend for himself and Tommy has a huge responsibility as the older brother to help in protecting him. I can tell the talk has helped and I didn't excuse any jealousy. That is no reason to act out towards Matthew so instead I asked that Tommy comes to us and discusses his feelings vs. taking it out on his baby brother.
Other things this week....Tonight we met my niece and her boyfriend, Sheldon, for dinner. This was the first night meeting him and they seem to make the cutest couple. He's very sweet and attentive to Courtney. Tommy also has his friend Nik over for the night. I know Nik's mom from volunteering at the school last year. She does a lot of volunteer work at the school and I was blessed to get to know such a wonderful group of ladies. Tommy also had a basketball game this morning and Nik is on his team and they are in class together. Nik is kinda like my other son. He's done a lot w/ us. I've taken him to Carowinds a couple of times, he's stayed over multiple times and he's went to the mountains w/ us for the weekend. I'm so happy that he was able to stay over tonight since Tommy has been asking me for months but since our house has been under so much construction, it was just too messy. They get along so well and I adore Nik's parents.
This week, Gabe and I discussed moving. My sister called begging me to consider moving to OR. I told her she wouldn't like me if I moved out there. LOL. Gabe has been busy looking for jobs on the West Coast, however, I still don't know if that's where I want to be. I'm too much of a beach bum (NC,SC shores). I do want to move, but it's all in where the money is. I don't really enjoy it here anymore. I feel like I'm stuck in a rut and can't seem to get out. I don't have that much of a social life and it would be nice to meet some new faces and get to know some new people. It's not the only reason I'd like to move, there are many.
Well, it's past my bedtime but I will try my best to do better at blogging. I can't let all of my children's memories slip away.
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