07-22 day 17 :), 192, ♥ 07/18-07/22 (19th big day)
08/05 + :) 4 w 28 days, 189
Just a personal online tracker, this won't make sense to readers and it isn't meant to. So sorry if this is confusing to some, this is just an easy way for me to keep track of some things since I seem to use the blog as a way of journalism.
~The foundation of who I am today~
html
Thursday, July 22, 2010
♥Girls Day♥
Yesterday my mom watched Tommy so I could get my hair done. I had a fun filled day out w/ one of my besties, Sheila.
Sheila recently moved to LKN so I was excited to see her new place. She works at a shop outside of her house but we decided to have her do my hair at her new house. It's a little ways from my house but I was in desperate need to not only have my hair done but to have a little "me" time.
Once I got to her place, she showed me around. She's right on the lake so we could have walked out her back yard and went swimming if we wanted to.
I had printed off a picture of how I wanted my hair done. I had been looking for something different since the blonde was getting a little old for me. I like to change it up every once in a while since I get tired of the same ole same ole. The good thing about Sheila is she likes to play meaning she loves to play changing up hairstyles and colors. I've NEVER had a better hairstylist. She stays on top of new trends which means a lot when getting your hair done.
So after she took a look at the picture, off to the supply store we went. We looked at the color charts and picked out colors like the picture, then we went to the Human Bean for coffee, and dropped by Wal-Mart real quick.
Once we got back, she began coloring my hair. When she squirted some of the red color into the color bowl, it looked HOT PINK. She said, "Look how red that is". I just said yes it was but was worried sick that I was going to have artificial hot pink hair. After all, this WAS NOT what color red I wanted in my hair and it looked completely different on the color chart. I don't like to complain so I didn't say anything, especially since she had to go purchase it specially for me. I was just hoping that the color changes once applied to my hair.
Finally it was time to rinse and to my surprise, the red I picked out looked just like it did on the color chart. I suppose the processor changes that hot pink color to a deep red. LOL
So then after she fixed my hair, we went to her parents house. I've known Sheila and her sister for most of my life so her family is like my own. Not too long ago, Gabe, me, and Tommy had went out to her parents, cooked-out, and went jet skiing. Her dad and Gabe really get along well. It was a fun day so I was looking forward to seeing her parents again. Once we got there, we walked in and it smelled just like spaghetti. Her mom was cooking dinner and asked us to stay for dinner but me and Sheila had already made other plans that night. Her mom handed me a jar of homemade pickled pickles, and some home grown tomatoes. Sheila's dad has a huge garden so they always have fresh veggies. We didn't stay too long but it was nice to see them again and have good conversation. Her mom asked us to come up on a Sunday since they all have lunch together and just hang out. BTW, they are also right on the lake. The view is amazing. I know we are all looking forward to going up and visiting again, hopefully really soon.
Then we headed back to Sheila's house to grab our things and head to see Eclipse. She has already seen it but was excited to see it again. I haven't had the chance to see it since I have my 8 year old with me most of the time and I didn't think he would enjoy this movie, plus, it really isn't age appropriate for him.
So we got to the mall, had some dinner, went to Sophora, and then went to the movie. The movie was intense. Much better than Twilight or New Moon! I was so happy that I finally had the chance to go see it and that I got to see it w/ Sheila.
Afterward, I just went home and watched some TV w/ Gabe and Tommy. I was so glad that I had a "girls day". I've missed hanging out with my friends since I've always got something going on so this was well needed. Sheila is one of my favorite friends. She always has good stories to tell so there's never a quiet moment between us. I'm hoping her and I can do something again this Friday. I took yesterday to revive as a mommy but to also enjoy it with one of my best friends. And, I LOVE my hair and the colors!
Sheila recently moved to LKN so I was excited to see her new place. She works at a shop outside of her house but we decided to have her do my hair at her new house. It's a little ways from my house but I was in desperate need to not only have my hair done but to have a little "me" time.
Once I got to her place, she showed me around. She's right on the lake so we could have walked out her back yard and went swimming if we wanted to.
I had printed off a picture of how I wanted my hair done. I had been looking for something different since the blonde was getting a little old for me. I like to change it up every once in a while since I get tired of the same ole same ole. The good thing about Sheila is she likes to play meaning she loves to play changing up hairstyles and colors. I've NEVER had a better hairstylist. She stays on top of new trends which means a lot when getting your hair done.
So after she took a look at the picture, off to the supply store we went. We looked at the color charts and picked out colors like the picture, then we went to the Human Bean for coffee, and dropped by Wal-Mart real quick.
Once we got back, she began coloring my hair. When she squirted some of the red color into the color bowl, it looked HOT PINK. She said, "Look how red that is". I just said yes it was but was worried sick that I was going to have artificial hot pink hair. After all, this WAS NOT what color red I wanted in my hair and it looked completely different on the color chart. I don't like to complain so I didn't say anything, especially since she had to go purchase it specially for me. I was just hoping that the color changes once applied to my hair.
Finally it was time to rinse and to my surprise, the red I picked out looked just like it did on the color chart. I suppose the processor changes that hot pink color to a deep red. LOL
So then after she fixed my hair, we went to her parents house. I've known Sheila and her sister for most of my life so her family is like my own. Not too long ago, Gabe, me, and Tommy had went out to her parents, cooked-out, and went jet skiing. Her dad and Gabe really get along well. It was a fun day so I was looking forward to seeing her parents again. Once we got there, we walked in and it smelled just like spaghetti. Her mom was cooking dinner and asked us to stay for dinner but me and Sheila had already made other plans that night. Her mom handed me a jar of homemade pickled pickles, and some home grown tomatoes. Sheila's dad has a huge garden so they always have fresh veggies. We didn't stay too long but it was nice to see them again and have good conversation. Her mom asked us to come up on a Sunday since they all have lunch together and just hang out. BTW, they are also right on the lake. The view is amazing. I know we are all looking forward to going up and visiting again, hopefully really soon.
Then we headed back to Sheila's house to grab our things and head to see Eclipse. She has already seen it but was excited to see it again. I haven't had the chance to see it since I have my 8 year old with me most of the time and I didn't think he would enjoy this movie, plus, it really isn't age appropriate for him.
So we got to the mall, had some dinner, went to Sophora, and then went to the movie. The movie was intense. Much better than Twilight or New Moon! I was so happy that I finally had the chance to go see it and that I got to see it w/ Sheila.
Afterward, I just went home and watched some TV w/ Gabe and Tommy. I was so glad that I had a "girls day". I've missed hanging out with my friends since I've always got something going on so this was well needed. Sheila is one of my favorite friends. She always has good stories to tell so there's never a quiet moment between us. I'm hoping her and I can do something again this Friday. I took yesterday to revive as a mommy but to also enjoy it with one of my best friends. And, I LOVE my hair and the colors!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
This & That
Goodness, seems like so much can go on in such a short amount of time.
July 11th my mom, Tommy, and myself headed to the beach for a week. Right before we left, Tommy lost a top tooth. So far he has lost 4 teeth. He's growing up SO fast! The tooth fairy brought him a tech deck and a couple of dollars. He has a really special tooth fairy since the tech deck was around $25.00. Oh how spoiled he is. :)
We did so many things at the beach. We went to the aquarium, put putting at Spyglass, the mall, Tanger Outlets, Home Store, beach, ate at the Mellow Mushroom (which was our first time, cute place), the Dixie Stampede, and my fav. which was the Wild Water and Wheels.
I can't say that my beach trips have been the best this year but definitely not bad. The first beach trip I took, Gabe kept pestering me about "private time"...lol...It just got to be annoying so I asked him to stop. Of course, he didn't so it made for a stressful "family" vacation. Then this past trip, Tommy whined A LOT! I'm not sure what has gotten into him lately but this has been a hard summer for us. He is at the age where I feel somewhat comfortable sending him to camp. I believe next year, so that we both have a good summer, I will see if he's interested in going.
Not only Tommy whining, but I was really missing Gabe. I was wishing he could be down there with us. Even though he drives me crazy sometimes, I love him and was blue earlier in the week missing him really badly. Later in the week, I guess I was just overwhelmed w/ him calling complaining about work, my mom's up and down moods, Tommy's whining, and then Gabe calling saying my dad was on some kind of rant. I finally had a melt down. When Gabe called to tell me about my dad, I finally just cried. I was already somewhat stressed and my dad adds to it. He's just always so negative and is always bringing me down w/ his bad moods. Plus, Gabe said that my dad ran my sister's name in the dirt, which I was NOT ok with. Again, like I've said before, even if my sister isn't supportive of me, I still take up for her no matter what. It made me SO angry at my dad that I just wanted to call him and cuss him out. Instead of doing that, I just cried and text my sister saying that dad was in one of his moods. We text back and forth while she was at a concert and once she was able to, she called me. Again, I cried and said I had other things on my mind then his drama. She knows that I NEVER cry around her so she knew something was wrong. She even called Gabe worried about how bad dad had upset me and told Gabe that I never cry around her unless I'm really upset.
I believe it was just a multitude of different things adding up and by the point I heard about my dad being a jerk, I had just had enough at that point. It was a rough week emotionally. On the day we left, my mom was tired so she was in an ill mood. We don't have the best relationship so I tried to ignore her mood swings hoping it wouldn't set the tone for the rest of the week. I like my space as it is, so it's hard to travel (with anyone) for a week. I like to do my own thing and not have to worry about anyone else. I knew my mom was going down to do some cleaning so I figured once she began cleaning, she would get tired and ill. She even said once we got to the beach that I had been really patient w/ her being ill. I just told her that I understand we all get tired and get into our moods sometimes. It's true so I didn't want to argue or get upset w/ her since I know how it feels to be ill and tired myself. That could have been part of my problem that entire week. I just wanted to relax and felt like I couldn't since Tommy was so demanding on what he wanted to do each day.
Besides some of this, earlier in the week I was on the beach thinking about how alone I feel at times. I have put school before friendships and that has been difficult on me, besides losing some of my closest friends, or who I thought were friends. I was feeling like "true" friendships go through ups and downs but work themselves out. I try not to hold grudges, but I can't be around people that don't care for the friendship in the same way that I do or put forth any effort to call or whatever. I have many friends but very few that I consider close. One friend of mine is like my sister. She has been for years! I can honestly say that we have had our ups and downs but one thing different about our friendship than many of the other ones is that we've taken the time to understand one another. We've gotten to know one another and accept each other for who we are. Definitely realize when we are in a "mood" and give each other space, but NEVER give up on the friendship. And one thing I don't do is trash her name if I get upset over something. That's crap and shame on the people that have done that to me in the past. It's immature and stupid!
Anyways, it was a rough day but the funny thing is, about the time I was feeling like this, 2 young crusade girls walked up and sat beside me to talk. Of course it was about religion but I didn't mind. It was also about talking about being alone. How ironic was that? It made me realize that I'm never alone, I've always got God. It may sound silly to some, but this was obviously something I really needed that day. I felt worlds better after talking to them.
I've realized for years that my faith isn't as strong as I would like for it to be. It opened my eyes to becoming stronger in my faith and letting God be my rock instead of depending on people. I also realized that when I kept suffering miscarriage after miscarriage that that is when I got angry w/ God and my faith took a turn. I'm still angry, but I'm trying to let that go and come to grips that there is nothing I can do about it. I DON'T believe God has controlled my losses, it is just a part of life. The old cliche' is that "everything happens for a reason", well I don't believe that, I believe things just happen and that's how it is! I can't stand for people to tell me that everything happens for a reason. Of course we have to tell ourselves that or we would go crazy wondering why why why all the time, but things just happen, there is NO reason behind it.
So other than this, last week was the first week I've thought of my losses in a long time. I guess because I had a procedure in March and we've still been trying and nothing. Gabe got a new job in June and won't have benefits til August 1st. I've been waiting and waiting to see the Dr. so it's been bothering me that I haven't been able to go due to the whole benefit thing. He's going to put me on COBRA since my fertility benefits were so much better on his old insurance but he just now got the paper work. WTW? Seriously, I could have went to the Dr. in June if my COBRA had kicked in. I'm really irritated and upset at the whole benefit thing. Since that procedure, I haven't been able to keep my ovulation time straight. Before the procedure, I knew every single time I was ovulating and would get the smiley face, now I'm not getting anything. It's worrying me some but I'm trying not to get too stressed over it. I know that won't do a bit of good. Hopefully soon I can get back in to see my RE and discuss some issues I've been having.
I have several other things I need to see other Dr.'s for and haven't been able to. Some are personal which I won't discuss but one is my left foot. The inside has been hurting for over a week. I'm not sure what I did to it. I thought maybe I did something during softball practice but I don't recall it hurting til I was at the beach. The pain comes and goes. I'm hoping it isn't anything major and more than anything, I hope it won't affect the way I play softball. I played a game Sunday on 2nd base and was fine. I'm worried if I play catcher that the up and down may irritate it. As for now, I can play pretty much any position (except pitcher)so I should be fine to stay away from hurting it even more.
More exciting news is, we are still in the process to adopt. Nothing much going on now but will update later when I have more news. I'm excited to adopt and can't wait til they find our family a match. We still have some things we need to get fixed around the house before the official inspection and after that, the looking begins. We have had so much going on that we haven't had time to get the ball in full motion but it will happen in the next couple of months, I'm determined to make it...hehe!
Also, like I've said, softball season has begun and I couldn't be happier. After the game on Sunday, we played a little at the park near my house and then again on Tuesday. I wanted to work on my swing and got Gabe to give me some pointers since I want to knock the ball out the park. HAHA! I'm a good softball player so at least I'm confident there, however, I haven't played in so long that I'm a tad rusty. I'm hoping the team stays together and plays fall ball. That would be pretty awesome! The best part of playing is enjoying this time w/ Gabe. This is something we have needed for so long, some time to enjoy something together. We are always busy w/ work, or being a parent that we have little time to spend w/ one another. This at least gives us time to have a little "couple" time even if it is on the field. It's fun to cheer each other on and also get to know all the other players which are totally awesome. We have such a great time.
Another exciting thing coming up is Tommy wants to play fall soccer. I'm really excited for him to play. He has already played for 2 years so he should do really well. I'm really looking forward to it.
Oh and I almost forgot, Gabe has a Realtor looking at houses for us in Wilmington. My family is so supportive and is excited for whatever we chose to do. My sister has even been looking up houses for us since she knows I just don't have a lot of time. Plus, she wants to be a part of the move and I think this is something she enjoys doing. Gabe said he will probably approach his supervisor next month about working at home. He has to feel comfortable doing that before we make any dramatic decisions. I'm really excited even though I can't put too much time into that right now. We have so many other things going on that moving may take a little longer than I expect. We are wanting a 4 bedroom house, garage, fenced yard, and other options and Gabe explained this to the Realtor that we won't settle for anything less than exactly what we are looking for so if it takes longer, that's fine w/ us. I would like to adopt first and then move. We've already worked w/ a counselor here that I really like and feel comfortable with that I really don't want to start over in Wilmington. So who knows how long it will take but I'm patient and we WILL move in time but maybe not real soon. But ya just never know...We're always full of some kinda surprises hehe.
As for now, this is about all that's been going on lately. It's been one CRAZY summer so far. Never a dull moment around our house..or the beach houses...haha!
Anyways, if ya want, please follow me. I'll update as much as time allows and post up pics when I have a chance.
If you are secretly "snooping" on my blog, hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it.
BTW...these are a couple of poems that reminded me of my moments of feeling "alone". I don't think I could have said it better myself.
THINGS WILL GET BETTER
by, Bruce B. Wilmer
When things aren’t going well for you
And times aren’t what they should be,
Just focus on the positive
And think about what could be.
Acknowledge what has happened--
Don’t lose sight of lessons past--
But don’t allow the negative
Distracting thoughts to last.
Take what you’ve learned and start from there;
Draw strength from your frustration;
And let this added sense of purpose
Be your new foundation.
It’s hard to follow any plan
Precisely to the letter.
Though life right now is difficult,
Things will in time get better.
JUST HANG ON
by, Bruce B. Wilmer
In all the times that seem so hard
When tears cry out inside,
You must explore new ways to live,
Reverse depression’s tide.
When all of your solutions
Stay away, remain unknown,
And you are isolated
In your heart and feel alone,
Remember that the world
Is full of others just like you
And you can reach beyond the darkness,
Change your point of view.
Everyone has moments
When their problems seem too much.
Everyone has joys that seem
Elusive, out of touch.
But when it all seems very bleak
And hope has all but gone,
Remember, time will heal your heavy thoughts
If you’ll hang on.
And more quotes that I really like-
The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've every had.
There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real!
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.
Always put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person, too.
Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.
Please tell about this to those people who mean something to you, to those who have touched your life in one way or another, to those who make you smile when you really need it, to those that make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down, to those who you want to let them know that you appreciate their friendship. And if you don't, don't worry, nothing bad will happen to you, you will just miss out on the opportunity to brighten someone's day with this message.
"Perhaps we all give the best of our hearts uncritically to those who hardly think about us in return."
Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering.
You ever look at a picture of yourself and see a stranger in the background? You know, it makes you wonder how many strangers have pictures of you. How many moments of other people's lives we've been in? Were we a part of someone's life when their dreams came true? Or were we there when their dream died? Did we keep trying to get in as if we were destined to be there? Or did the shot take us by surprise? Just think. You could be a big part of someone else's life and not even know it.
Sometimes it's easy to feel like you're the only on in the world who's struggling, who's frustrated, or unsatisfied, or barely getting by. But that feeling's a lie. And if you just hold on, just find the courage to face it all for another day and someone, or something, will find you and make it all okay. Because we all need a little help sometimes. Someone to help us hear the music in our world. To remind us that it won't always be this way. That someone is out there, and that someone will find you.
If you could go back and change just one thing about your life, would you? and if you did, would that change make your life better? Or would that change ultimatily break your heart? or break the heart of another? would you choose an entirely different path? or would you change just one thing? just one moment. one moment that you always wanted back..
You can find the good in anybody if you just give them a chance, benefit of the doubt.Sometimes people disappoint you, sometimes they surprise you, but you never really get to know them until you listen for what's in their heart.
There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on the path while others tell you who you are? Or will you label yourself? Will you be honored by your choice? Or will you embrace your new path? Each morning you choose to move forward or to simply give up.
Because it´s only when you´re tested that you truly discover who you are. And it´s only when you´re tested that you discover who you can be. The person that you want to be does exist, somewhere in the other side of hard work and faith, and belief and beyond the heartache and fear of what life has.
Regret comes in all shapes and sizes. Some are small, like when we do a bad thing for a good reason. Some are bigger like when we let down a friend. Some of us escape the pains of regret by making the right choice. Some of us have little time for regret because were looking forward to the future. Sometimes we have to fight to come to terms with the past, and sometimes we bury our regret by promising to change our ways. But our biggest regrets are not for the things we did but for the things we didn’t do, things we didn’t say that could have saved someone we care about. Especially when we can see the dark storm that’s headed their way
July 11th my mom, Tommy, and myself headed to the beach for a week. Right before we left, Tommy lost a top tooth. So far he has lost 4 teeth. He's growing up SO fast! The tooth fairy brought him a tech deck and a couple of dollars. He has a really special tooth fairy since the tech deck was around $25.00. Oh how spoiled he is. :)
We did so many things at the beach. We went to the aquarium, put putting at Spyglass, the mall, Tanger Outlets, Home Store, beach, ate at the Mellow Mushroom (which was our first time, cute place), the Dixie Stampede, and my fav. which was the Wild Water and Wheels.
I can't say that my beach trips have been the best this year but definitely not bad. The first beach trip I took, Gabe kept pestering me about "private time"...lol...It just got to be annoying so I asked him to stop. Of course, he didn't so it made for a stressful "family" vacation. Then this past trip, Tommy whined A LOT! I'm not sure what has gotten into him lately but this has been a hard summer for us. He is at the age where I feel somewhat comfortable sending him to camp. I believe next year, so that we both have a good summer, I will see if he's interested in going.
Not only Tommy whining, but I was really missing Gabe. I was wishing he could be down there with us. Even though he drives me crazy sometimes, I love him and was blue earlier in the week missing him really badly. Later in the week, I guess I was just overwhelmed w/ him calling complaining about work, my mom's up and down moods, Tommy's whining, and then Gabe calling saying my dad was on some kind of rant. I finally had a melt down. When Gabe called to tell me about my dad, I finally just cried. I was already somewhat stressed and my dad adds to it. He's just always so negative and is always bringing me down w/ his bad moods. Plus, Gabe said that my dad ran my sister's name in the dirt, which I was NOT ok with. Again, like I've said before, even if my sister isn't supportive of me, I still take up for her no matter what. It made me SO angry at my dad that I just wanted to call him and cuss him out. Instead of doing that, I just cried and text my sister saying that dad was in one of his moods. We text back and forth while she was at a concert and once she was able to, she called me. Again, I cried and said I had other things on my mind then his drama. She knows that I NEVER cry around her so she knew something was wrong. She even called Gabe worried about how bad dad had upset me and told Gabe that I never cry around her unless I'm really upset.
I believe it was just a multitude of different things adding up and by the point I heard about my dad being a jerk, I had just had enough at that point. It was a rough week emotionally. On the day we left, my mom was tired so she was in an ill mood. We don't have the best relationship so I tried to ignore her mood swings hoping it wouldn't set the tone for the rest of the week. I like my space as it is, so it's hard to travel (with anyone) for a week. I like to do my own thing and not have to worry about anyone else. I knew my mom was going down to do some cleaning so I figured once she began cleaning, she would get tired and ill. She even said once we got to the beach that I had been really patient w/ her being ill. I just told her that I understand we all get tired and get into our moods sometimes. It's true so I didn't want to argue or get upset w/ her since I know how it feels to be ill and tired myself. That could have been part of my problem that entire week. I just wanted to relax and felt like I couldn't since Tommy was so demanding on what he wanted to do each day.
Besides some of this, earlier in the week I was on the beach thinking about how alone I feel at times. I have put school before friendships and that has been difficult on me, besides losing some of my closest friends, or who I thought were friends. I was feeling like "true" friendships go through ups and downs but work themselves out. I try not to hold grudges, but I can't be around people that don't care for the friendship in the same way that I do or put forth any effort to call or whatever. I have many friends but very few that I consider close. One friend of mine is like my sister. She has been for years! I can honestly say that we have had our ups and downs but one thing different about our friendship than many of the other ones is that we've taken the time to understand one another. We've gotten to know one another and accept each other for who we are. Definitely realize when we are in a "mood" and give each other space, but NEVER give up on the friendship. And one thing I don't do is trash her name if I get upset over something. That's crap and shame on the people that have done that to me in the past. It's immature and stupid!
Anyways, it was a rough day but the funny thing is, about the time I was feeling like this, 2 young crusade girls walked up and sat beside me to talk. Of course it was about religion but I didn't mind. It was also about talking about being alone. How ironic was that? It made me realize that I'm never alone, I've always got God. It may sound silly to some, but this was obviously something I really needed that day. I felt worlds better after talking to them.
I've realized for years that my faith isn't as strong as I would like for it to be. It opened my eyes to becoming stronger in my faith and letting God be my rock instead of depending on people. I also realized that when I kept suffering miscarriage after miscarriage that that is when I got angry w/ God and my faith took a turn. I'm still angry, but I'm trying to let that go and come to grips that there is nothing I can do about it. I DON'T believe God has controlled my losses, it is just a part of life. The old cliche' is that "everything happens for a reason", well I don't believe that, I believe things just happen and that's how it is! I can't stand for people to tell me that everything happens for a reason. Of course we have to tell ourselves that or we would go crazy wondering why why why all the time, but things just happen, there is NO reason behind it.
So other than this, last week was the first week I've thought of my losses in a long time. I guess because I had a procedure in March and we've still been trying and nothing. Gabe got a new job in June and won't have benefits til August 1st. I've been waiting and waiting to see the Dr. so it's been bothering me that I haven't been able to go due to the whole benefit thing. He's going to put me on COBRA since my fertility benefits were so much better on his old insurance but he just now got the paper work. WTW? Seriously, I could have went to the Dr. in June if my COBRA had kicked in. I'm really irritated and upset at the whole benefit thing. Since that procedure, I haven't been able to keep my ovulation time straight. Before the procedure, I knew every single time I was ovulating and would get the smiley face, now I'm not getting anything. It's worrying me some but I'm trying not to get too stressed over it. I know that won't do a bit of good. Hopefully soon I can get back in to see my RE and discuss some issues I've been having.
I have several other things I need to see other Dr.'s for and haven't been able to. Some are personal which I won't discuss but one is my left foot. The inside has been hurting for over a week. I'm not sure what I did to it. I thought maybe I did something during softball practice but I don't recall it hurting til I was at the beach. The pain comes and goes. I'm hoping it isn't anything major and more than anything, I hope it won't affect the way I play softball. I played a game Sunday on 2nd base and was fine. I'm worried if I play catcher that the up and down may irritate it. As for now, I can play pretty much any position (except pitcher)so I should be fine to stay away from hurting it even more.
More exciting news is, we are still in the process to adopt. Nothing much going on now but will update later when I have more news. I'm excited to adopt and can't wait til they find our family a match. We still have some things we need to get fixed around the house before the official inspection and after that, the looking begins. We have had so much going on that we haven't had time to get the ball in full motion but it will happen in the next couple of months, I'm determined to make it...hehe!
Also, like I've said, softball season has begun and I couldn't be happier. After the game on Sunday, we played a little at the park near my house and then again on Tuesday. I wanted to work on my swing and got Gabe to give me some pointers since I want to knock the ball out the park. HAHA! I'm a good softball player so at least I'm confident there, however, I haven't played in so long that I'm a tad rusty. I'm hoping the team stays together and plays fall ball. That would be pretty awesome! The best part of playing is enjoying this time w/ Gabe. This is something we have needed for so long, some time to enjoy something together. We are always busy w/ work, or being a parent that we have little time to spend w/ one another. This at least gives us time to have a little "couple" time even if it is on the field. It's fun to cheer each other on and also get to know all the other players which are totally awesome. We have such a great time.
Another exciting thing coming up is Tommy wants to play fall soccer. I'm really excited for him to play. He has already played for 2 years so he should do really well. I'm really looking forward to it.
Oh and I almost forgot, Gabe has a Realtor looking at houses for us in Wilmington. My family is so supportive and is excited for whatever we chose to do. My sister has even been looking up houses for us since she knows I just don't have a lot of time. Plus, she wants to be a part of the move and I think this is something she enjoys doing. Gabe said he will probably approach his supervisor next month about working at home. He has to feel comfortable doing that before we make any dramatic decisions. I'm really excited even though I can't put too much time into that right now. We have so many other things going on that moving may take a little longer than I expect. We are wanting a 4 bedroom house, garage, fenced yard, and other options and Gabe explained this to the Realtor that we won't settle for anything less than exactly what we are looking for so if it takes longer, that's fine w/ us. I would like to adopt first and then move. We've already worked w/ a counselor here that I really like and feel comfortable with that I really don't want to start over in Wilmington. So who knows how long it will take but I'm patient and we WILL move in time but maybe not real soon. But ya just never know...We're always full of some kinda surprises hehe.
As for now, this is about all that's been going on lately. It's been one CRAZY summer so far. Never a dull moment around our house..or the beach houses...haha!
Anyways, if ya want, please follow me. I'll update as much as time allows and post up pics when I have a chance.
If you are secretly "snooping" on my blog, hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it.
BTW...these are a couple of poems that reminded me of my moments of feeling "alone". I don't think I could have said it better myself.
THINGS WILL GET BETTER
by, Bruce B. Wilmer
When things aren’t going well for you
And times aren’t what they should be,
Just focus on the positive
And think about what could be.
Acknowledge what has happened--
Don’t lose sight of lessons past--
But don’t allow the negative
Distracting thoughts to last.
Take what you’ve learned and start from there;
Draw strength from your frustration;
And let this added sense of purpose
Be your new foundation.
It’s hard to follow any plan
Precisely to the letter.
Though life right now is difficult,
Things will in time get better.
JUST HANG ON
by, Bruce B. Wilmer
In all the times that seem so hard
When tears cry out inside,
You must explore new ways to live,
Reverse depression’s tide.
When all of your solutions
Stay away, remain unknown,
And you are isolated
In your heart and feel alone,
Remember that the world
Is full of others just like you
And you can reach beyond the darkness,
Change your point of view.
Everyone has moments
When their problems seem too much.
Everyone has joys that seem
Elusive, out of touch.
But when it all seems very bleak
And hope has all but gone,
Remember, time will heal your heavy thoughts
If you’ll hang on.
And more quotes that I really like-
The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've every had.
There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real!
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.
Always put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person, too.
Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.
Please tell about this to those people who mean something to you, to those who have touched your life in one way or another, to those who make you smile when you really need it, to those that make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down, to those who you want to let them know that you appreciate their friendship. And if you don't, don't worry, nothing bad will happen to you, you will just miss out on the opportunity to brighten someone's day with this message.
"Perhaps we all give the best of our hearts uncritically to those who hardly think about us in return."
Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering.
You ever look at a picture of yourself and see a stranger in the background? You know, it makes you wonder how many strangers have pictures of you. How many moments of other people's lives we've been in? Were we a part of someone's life when their dreams came true? Or were we there when their dream died? Did we keep trying to get in as if we were destined to be there? Or did the shot take us by surprise? Just think. You could be a big part of someone else's life and not even know it.
Sometimes it's easy to feel like you're the only on in the world who's struggling, who's frustrated, or unsatisfied, or barely getting by. But that feeling's a lie. And if you just hold on, just find the courage to face it all for another day and someone, or something, will find you and make it all okay. Because we all need a little help sometimes. Someone to help us hear the music in our world. To remind us that it won't always be this way. That someone is out there, and that someone will find you.
If you could go back and change just one thing about your life, would you? and if you did, would that change make your life better? Or would that change ultimatily break your heart? or break the heart of another? would you choose an entirely different path? or would you change just one thing? just one moment. one moment that you always wanted back..
You can find the good in anybody if you just give them a chance, benefit of the doubt.Sometimes people disappoint you, sometimes they surprise you, but you never really get to know them until you listen for what's in their heart.
There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on the path while others tell you who you are? Or will you label yourself? Will you be honored by your choice? Or will you embrace your new path? Each morning you choose to move forward or to simply give up.
Because it´s only when you´re tested that you truly discover who you are. And it´s only when you´re tested that you discover who you can be. The person that you want to be does exist, somewhere in the other side of hard work and faith, and belief and beyond the heartache and fear of what life has.
Regret comes in all shapes and sizes. Some are small, like when we do a bad thing for a good reason. Some are bigger like when we let down a friend. Some of us escape the pains of regret by making the right choice. Some of us have little time for regret because were looking forward to the future. Sometimes we have to fight to come to terms with the past, and sometimes we bury our regret by promising to change our ways. But our biggest regrets are not for the things we did but for the things we didn’t do, things we didn’t say that could have saved someone we care about. Especially when we can see the dark storm that’s headed their way
Sunday, July 11, 2010
~How much more~
So this week, co-ed softball has officially began. We had practice on Thursday night for about 3 hours. Besides all of the other players, I'm playing w/ my best friend, Danielle, and my hubby, Gabe. I had so much fun on Thursday night. Just to hear the crack of the bat hitting the ball. Man, I have missed that sound. It is like an addiction. Yeh, sounds crazy but if you love the sport then you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about. I had a rough few days so I couldn't wait to take some well needed frustrations out on the field. What better place to be aggressive and not hurt anyone? HA! It has just been somewhat of a chaotic week so Thursday was refreshing. Tommy and I rode w/ Danielle and Cam and met Gabe there. We got to meet the rest of the team which are EXCELLENT players. One guy was a minor league draft pick! I love playing w/ the best of the best.
It was a hot hot hot day though. I packed a cooler full of ice and drinks for all of us. Several of us had water bottles beside us on the field and took drinks as often as we could. I squeezed my pony tail (yay my hair is long enough to pull up)and sweat just dripped. It was nasty but for some reason I LOVE to sweat. I don't like to be hot, but I love the way I feel after a good sweat. It's like I feel relaxed and refreshed. I'm hoping that through all of this that I will lose some weight. I've tried so hard but damn this weight, it won't come off for nothing. Hopefully the team stays together for fall ball as well and if my niece can do it, she may play w/ us. That would be fun! Maybe some of my other local friends will want to play as well.
So some other news which isn't so happy is that I found out today that my uncle's dad past away last night. We knew it wouldn't be long but I thought he may hang in there a few more days. The family is really sad and especially my uncle. His name was Jim. Him and his wife had been together 60 years so obviously she is taking it the worst. Makes you really thankful for the people you do have in your life and not to take them for grant it.
There has been so many health issues in my family over the past several months. My brother in law had a heart attack and is WAY too young and healthy to have had one, my other cousin Big Jim has had some heart problems, his wife Tammy went to the ER w/ bad abdominal pains yesterday, my aunt Pat has had some recent heart surgery, and my aunt Sandra hurts so much it's hard for her to get around. Also, my sister has had some abnormal blood work come back. My family is so small that most are older and a lot of their health is going down hill. It worries me since this tiny family is the only family I have. I don't even know my dad's side of the family, not that I feel like I'm missing out on anything since I've never met them, but that makes the family members I do know that much less.
Then tonight, Tommy inhaled a little bit of Endust. I couldn't believe he did that! He was in the office playing Club Penguin and the next thing I know, he comes out saying he inhaled a little Endust. I was so scared that I had an anxiety attack, popped Tommy (which is VERY rare), fussed at him, cried, and then had Gabe call poison control. What was my kid thinking????? He is my ONLY child and he better not leave me on this earth alone! Damn, tears just thinking about it! It scared him that not only was I so upset but that I was so worried! Once I calmed down, I hugged him and said how much I love him and that I was so scared and that he can't ever do something like that again. Tommy knows the dangers of things like that so why he did that is what I'm still trying to figure out. Gabe had it sitting on the desk near the keyboard, which he had just used w/ Endust. Tommy said he thought it was just air. It made me SO mad. Goes to show, doesn't matter what age, all things such as this should be out of reach. I think my faced turned blue from fussing and not coming up for air. I know I scared Tommy but looking back, maybe that's exactly what he needed, to be so afraid that he NEVER does anything like that again.
Tommy has been something else lately. He's been real sassy and that's not something I will tolerate. He back talks for some reason. I'm not sure what is going on w/ him. Not only back talking, but not listening. He's been wearing me thin the past couple of weeks, that's for sure. When we went to the beach, he fussed about everything I wanted to do, would cry and have some sort of a temper tantrum. So, I didn't do nearly as much as I would have liked to. It was just easier to give in (which I know I should NEVER do), but it exhausts me to argue w/ him. It seems the older he gets, the more sassy he is.
Usually when we are at the beach, he wants to do lots of things, like visit the beach! He didn't even want to go on the beach hardly at all. If I'm at the beach, that's exactly where I want to be, parked w/ my toes in the sand! Then Gabe comes down a few days later and him and Tommy nit pick. They both wore my nerves. I can't say it was the best beach trip I've ever had, but there were lots of things we did that was fun.
We are about to go back but this time, it's me, Tommy, my mom and our dogs. My mom gets up around 6 am to take her dog for a walk so she turns in early every night. It won't be an exciting week because she doesn't like to do much of anything, but hopefully it will be a relaxing week. I'll miss Gabe though. I do like for him to vacate w/ me. It's funner w/ him there. As much as I'm looking forward to being back down there, I get sad too when I can't hang out w/ him everyday.
I think after tonight, Tommy should be on his best behavior. He knows I can only take so much. I take in a lot it seems lately. I've had a lot to deal with from everyone around me that it wears me out. It seems like everyone lately is on some emotional roller coaster and brings me along for the ride. I have other things on my mind that I can't deal w/ people upset w/ me for no reason or aggravating me again, for no reason.
Like my dad for example. He is ALWAYS in a bad mood and comes over all the time uninvited. I would love for people to come over every once in a while unannounced and it be a nice surprise but he does it 3-4 days a week. I'm too busy for him to come over like that and we all have to stop what we are doing to entertain him. He called the other day and left a nasty message on the answering machine about how I never answer my phone and where am I. Last I remember, I'm GROWN! I don't have to answer to anyone especially him! He doesn't pay my bills or help me in any way, but besides that, I hadn't been home but a couple of days from the beach and he's already nagging me to call him. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't that every single time he calls he wants something. It isn't just to say "hey", it's because he wants to use us to either write up a letter, look something up on the internet, etc.
So he comes over, unannounced of course, and is on a rampage about every single thing known to man. He is poison to our family. It did nothing but put me in a bad mood that day. He cusses like crazy and doesn't care that Tommy has to hear it. I cuss occasionally but not anything like my dad. He even tried to get me upset w/ my sister. That really got under my skin because even as much as Kim never has my back, I ALWAYS have hers. We are sisters and that's how I feel it should be regardless of our arguments or whatever. He could tell I wasn't happy so my hopes are that he won't come over again anytime soon.
Speaking of my sister, we have gotten along so well lately. I've just learned to separate our relationship w/ the ones she has w/ some other people whom I'd rather not speak about. It just doesn't matter to me any longer because if there's one thing I have learned, it is still to be the better person, let others deal w/ their own demons and their bad doings. It is them that has to go to sleep every night w/ those things on their conscious. I want to be supportive to my family even if that means putting up w/ the BS that they throw my way. I'll never stop being the person that I am and neither will they. I've also learned to just brush some things off my shoulder. Some PEOPLE aren't worth getting upset over. It took me a long time to realize what/who is important and what/who isn't. So anyways, me and my sister have a GREAT relationship as long as we both understand each other and just don't cross boundaries. She is who she is and if that means having people in her life that I don't agree with, so be it. She even sent me the sweetest BDAY card the other day! It wasn't something I expected from her. Maybe she is also realizing what kind of sister she has. Like I said, you have to let some people deal w/ their own wrongs.
Well, I believe I've rambled enough and I'm so sleepy, half I don't even remember. I'll post up later about the beach trip. Crossing fingers and toes it is good. If not, I have another shot at it in August w/ my best friend and all of our boys. It will be a crazy fun week and her 18 month old gets to play in the water. That will be cute. Can't wait to see his eyes when he sees the ocean.
It was a hot hot hot day though. I packed a cooler full of ice and drinks for all of us. Several of us had water bottles beside us on the field and took drinks as often as we could. I squeezed my pony tail (yay my hair is long enough to pull up)and sweat just dripped. It was nasty but for some reason I LOVE to sweat. I don't like to be hot, but I love the way I feel after a good sweat. It's like I feel relaxed and refreshed. I'm hoping that through all of this that I will lose some weight. I've tried so hard but damn this weight, it won't come off for nothing. Hopefully the team stays together for fall ball as well and if my niece can do it, she may play w/ us. That would be fun! Maybe some of my other local friends will want to play as well.
So some other news which isn't so happy is that I found out today that my uncle's dad past away last night. We knew it wouldn't be long but I thought he may hang in there a few more days. The family is really sad and especially my uncle. His name was Jim. Him and his wife had been together 60 years so obviously she is taking it the worst. Makes you really thankful for the people you do have in your life and not to take them for grant it.
There has been so many health issues in my family over the past several months. My brother in law had a heart attack and is WAY too young and healthy to have had one, my other cousin Big Jim has had some heart problems, his wife Tammy went to the ER w/ bad abdominal pains yesterday, my aunt Pat has had some recent heart surgery, and my aunt Sandra hurts so much it's hard for her to get around. Also, my sister has had some abnormal blood work come back. My family is so small that most are older and a lot of their health is going down hill. It worries me since this tiny family is the only family I have. I don't even know my dad's side of the family, not that I feel like I'm missing out on anything since I've never met them, but that makes the family members I do know that much less.
Then tonight, Tommy inhaled a little bit of Endust. I couldn't believe he did that! He was in the office playing Club Penguin and the next thing I know, he comes out saying he inhaled a little Endust. I was so scared that I had an anxiety attack, popped Tommy (which is VERY rare), fussed at him, cried, and then had Gabe call poison control. What was my kid thinking????? He is my ONLY child and he better not leave me on this earth alone! Damn, tears just thinking about it! It scared him that not only was I so upset but that I was so worried! Once I calmed down, I hugged him and said how much I love him and that I was so scared and that he can't ever do something like that again. Tommy knows the dangers of things like that so why he did that is what I'm still trying to figure out. Gabe had it sitting on the desk near the keyboard, which he had just used w/ Endust. Tommy said he thought it was just air. It made me SO mad. Goes to show, doesn't matter what age, all things such as this should be out of reach. I think my faced turned blue from fussing and not coming up for air. I know I scared Tommy but looking back, maybe that's exactly what he needed, to be so afraid that he NEVER does anything like that again.
Tommy has been something else lately. He's been real sassy and that's not something I will tolerate. He back talks for some reason. I'm not sure what is going on w/ him. Not only back talking, but not listening. He's been wearing me thin the past couple of weeks, that's for sure. When we went to the beach, he fussed about everything I wanted to do, would cry and have some sort of a temper tantrum. So, I didn't do nearly as much as I would have liked to. It was just easier to give in (which I know I should NEVER do), but it exhausts me to argue w/ him. It seems the older he gets, the more sassy he is.
Usually when we are at the beach, he wants to do lots of things, like visit the beach! He didn't even want to go on the beach hardly at all. If I'm at the beach, that's exactly where I want to be, parked w/ my toes in the sand! Then Gabe comes down a few days later and him and Tommy nit pick. They both wore my nerves. I can't say it was the best beach trip I've ever had, but there were lots of things we did that was fun.
We are about to go back but this time, it's me, Tommy, my mom and our dogs. My mom gets up around 6 am to take her dog for a walk so she turns in early every night. It won't be an exciting week because she doesn't like to do much of anything, but hopefully it will be a relaxing week. I'll miss Gabe though. I do like for him to vacate w/ me. It's funner w/ him there. As much as I'm looking forward to being back down there, I get sad too when I can't hang out w/ him everyday.
I think after tonight, Tommy should be on his best behavior. He knows I can only take so much. I take in a lot it seems lately. I've had a lot to deal with from everyone around me that it wears me out. It seems like everyone lately is on some emotional roller coaster and brings me along for the ride. I have other things on my mind that I can't deal w/ people upset w/ me for no reason or aggravating me again, for no reason.
Like my dad for example. He is ALWAYS in a bad mood and comes over all the time uninvited. I would love for people to come over every once in a while unannounced and it be a nice surprise but he does it 3-4 days a week. I'm too busy for him to come over like that and we all have to stop what we are doing to entertain him. He called the other day and left a nasty message on the answering machine about how I never answer my phone and where am I. Last I remember, I'm GROWN! I don't have to answer to anyone especially him! He doesn't pay my bills or help me in any way, but besides that, I hadn't been home but a couple of days from the beach and he's already nagging me to call him. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't that every single time he calls he wants something. It isn't just to say "hey", it's because he wants to use us to either write up a letter, look something up on the internet, etc.
So he comes over, unannounced of course, and is on a rampage about every single thing known to man. He is poison to our family. It did nothing but put me in a bad mood that day. He cusses like crazy and doesn't care that Tommy has to hear it. I cuss occasionally but not anything like my dad. He even tried to get me upset w/ my sister. That really got under my skin because even as much as Kim never has my back, I ALWAYS have hers. We are sisters and that's how I feel it should be regardless of our arguments or whatever. He could tell I wasn't happy so my hopes are that he won't come over again anytime soon.
Speaking of my sister, we have gotten along so well lately. I've just learned to separate our relationship w/ the ones she has w/ some other people whom I'd rather not speak about. It just doesn't matter to me any longer because if there's one thing I have learned, it is still to be the better person, let others deal w/ their own demons and their bad doings. It is them that has to go to sleep every night w/ those things on their conscious. I want to be supportive to my family even if that means putting up w/ the BS that they throw my way. I'll never stop being the person that I am and neither will they. I've also learned to just brush some things off my shoulder. Some PEOPLE aren't worth getting upset over. It took me a long time to realize what/who is important and what/who isn't. So anyways, me and my sister have a GREAT relationship as long as we both understand each other and just don't cross boundaries. She is who she is and if that means having people in her life that I don't agree with, so be it. She even sent me the sweetest BDAY card the other day! It wasn't something I expected from her. Maybe she is also realizing what kind of sister she has. Like I said, you have to let some people deal w/ their own wrongs.
Well, I believe I've rambled enough and I'm so sleepy, half I don't even remember. I'll post up later about the beach trip. Crossing fingers and toes it is good. If not, I have another shot at it in August w/ my best friend and all of our boys. It will be a crazy fun week and her 18 month old gets to play in the water. That will be cute. Can't wait to see his eyes when he sees the ocean.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
~All the summer madness~
OMG, our summer has been crazy busy so far. At the beginning of June, Gabe got a new job. Technically, it is a sister company to the place where he was already working. He seems to really like it and all's going well so far.
Besides this change, we have kept busy. I just got back from an almost 2 week beach vacation and I'm about to go back for another week soon as well as again in August w/ my best friend and her kids.
We stayed so busy at the beach. I take HALO so I get a lot of walking in. Some of the things we did was go to the skate park twice, deep sea fishing, dolphin cruise, shopping, and went to Wilmington and Wrightsville Beach. My family of 15 was also staying next door. That made it even more fun since my cousins are around my age and Tommy's. There was never a dull moment.
The deep sea fishing was a lot of fun! We did the early morning half day trip for me, Gabe, and Tommy. It was Tommy's very first time every deep sea fishing. We all took Dramamine before heading out because the older I get, the easier I get motion sick. I surely didn't want to get sick on this trip since I love to fish! Tommy ended up winning the 1st place trophy for the largest Sea Bass. We got all of our fish in fillets so we could cook it later. Once we got home, the Dramamine kicked in and we all took a very long afternoon nap. That really stinks since we were at the beach and no day should ever go wasted. HAHA!
The Dolphin Cruise was wonderful. We took the afternoon trip and there were dolphins everywhere. I LOVE dolphins and it was extremely tempting to jump over the boat and take a swim with them. :) If anyone knows me, they know I'm not afraid of swimming with dolphins but I do realize these are friendly creatures and could potentially be dangerous by pulling people under the water to play. Anyways, I of course fought my temptation and just took some video and pics. :)
One of my fav. days down at the beach was going to Wilmington. I have loved Wilmington since I was in my teens. I went down there w/ a friend of mine in my early 20's and met a guy in the Marine Corps. We dated off and on for about 8 months and remain friends til this day. One of the reason I know Wilmington so well is because I drove through there every single weekend visiting this guy. Sometimes we would stay in Wilmington so it is a very familiar spot for me besides also having a good friend that I stayed with some that lived there.
We packed so much into one day at Wilmington. We took 2 horse and buggy rides because each one was different, we went to the Cape Fear Museum, went on a boat ride, ate on the water front, went to Kilwin's, went to the Cotton Exchange, and also did some additional shopping. We also drove to Wrightsville Beach and spend some time on the beach before heading back to N. Myrtle. Wrightsville Beach is GORGEOUS! The water is so green and clear and the beach is always so clean. In all the years that I've been there, this beach not only has remained so beautiful, it is also my fav. beach to visit. The sunsets are out of this world. Who says Key West has the best sunsets? I've been to Key West, yes, they have amazing sunsets but Wrightsville has them just as pretty if not prettier. Every time I'm there, I always make sure to get a picture of the beautiful sunset. I've also seen the sunrise, but we won't go there. ;)
Every single time we leave Wilmington, all of us are bummed. This time we spoke to a local about re-locating. He gave us the pros and cons and suggested some neighborhoods. I've wanted to live there since I can remember. Gabe and Tommy also love it. Tommy NEEDS to be near an ocean. He is a beach bum for sure! He gets that from his momma. LOL! Gabe has already began looking at houses and we have 3 so far that we are interested in. They are all 3 amazing homes. They are much much nicer than the house we live in now. All we are waiting on is to see if Gabe will be able to work from home w/ his current job, if so, we are going to do all we can to re-locate. If he isn't able to work from home, he will begin looking for some jobs down there. No promises on us moving but I sure would love to! We all would! I've already mentioned it to my mom and she is very supportive in us moving. She goes to her beach house all the time so I would see her a lot. Plus, it is only about a 3-4 hour drive from Wilmington to Charlotte. That's not too far away so I can still come back to see my friends and fam.
Right now we just need to find out if we are going to be able to make it work and go from there. I want to make SURE Tommy will be in a good school system. I want nothing more but for him to get a good education. It's important to me and Gabe, that's why we have tried everything we can to get him out of the public school system. Thank goodness we did. Next year, he will be attending a Charter school. We are so thankful he got in since we've heard nothing but positive things about this particular school. Not sure if Wilmington has Charter schools but that will be something we look into or maybe even a private school. Their public schools may be much better than the ones here. If so, it wouldn't bother us if he attended a public school. They are laying off more and more teachers here which causes the classes to be more overcrowded not to mention most teachers can't keep the kids under control or lack the motivation to even teach. We have been blessed to pull Tommy out of the public school system.
Besides all of this, the adoption process is going well. There is a lot we need to do still before getting it into full swing but it is a "get it done at our own pace" kinda thing. Our case worker is so busy that she doesn't mind us taking all the time we need. It is really up to us to speed the process along. Right now, we have had so much going on that taking it slow is much better. First of all, I don't want to rush to fast and get into a position of rushing the adoption. I would rather take my time and find the perfect match for our family. This has been something we've been working on but hasn't been the first thing on my plate of priorities. Getting Tommy into the Charter school as well as my own schooling has came first and has taken up a lot of our time.
I only have a math class in August and one after that before applying for the nursing program. If we should re-locate, I would like to get my Bachelor's from UNCW, if we don't re-locate, I'm still torn between just getting my associates or Bachelor's. I'm just anxious to get into my core classes. One thing that's holding me back is Chemistry. I would have no choice but to take that class if I want my Bachelor's. I don't know why I fear this class so much. I've already taken A&P I, A&P II, and Microbiology and made an A in A&P II and Micro. and a B in the A&P I (which is the only B I've made, all others have been A's..yay for me!) so I'm not sure why Chemistry scares me so much. All of my classes scare me to some degree because I'm a perfectionist. I want to do the best I can and reach for that A. Some may not understand this, but nursing is a competition. To get into the program, you have be on your A game. I didn't like settling for the B in A&P I but that class was unrealistically difficult. At that point, I would have taken a C if it was passing. My B is an A in any others eyes that have already taken that class. Anatomy and Physiology classes are some of the most difficult classes there are to take. From here on out, I think all future classes will be challenging but not hard.
It's almost time for my next class to begin and one right after that one so I'm taking time to get ready for those which again, takes up so much time. I'm also having to figure out what nursing school I want to attend and how that's going to work out with me taking and picking Tommy up from school.
So besides wanting to move, we have the adoption, and mine and Tommy's schooling to focus on. It's a lot but I enjoy staying busy. It will all be worth it in the end.
Will post more after my next beach trip :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)