It's been a while

I feel so bad, this is the first post that I have made in 2015. It's so difficult with a family of 6 to just sit...just be still and when I can, I want to sleep or catch up on TV shows. Ha! 

So updates. 

Tommy just entered into the 8th grade. I can't believe I now have a 13 year old, time really does go by so quickly! He is really the sweetest teen that I know! Sure, we have our "teen" moments but for the most part, I'm so proud of the young man he's becoming. His hobbies mainly include video games. I wish he didn't like them so much but he can connect w/ his friends so it's like talking to your friends all the time. I was so sad to see the summer come to an end and for school to start up. He spent a lot of time w/ me and the rest of the kiddos this summer and helped me tremendously with them.

Matthew, oh my little live wire. This little one tests my patience every single day but I just love that cutie so darn much! I melt every single time I look into those beautiful light green eyes and that pretty blonde hair! He's such a silly little boy but has quite a little attitude. He is shy and acts out usually when he first meets people but as soon as he warms up, he's usually pretty good. He has struggled w/ low iron and even though he's been to the Dr. and is on iron and we now have a cast iron pan, he still struggles with getting enough since he has a very little appetite. He recently began twisting and pulling out his hair. Gabe and I have done some reading and he isn't to be punished and cutting his hair will not solve the problem. Most children grow out of it, I also pulled my hair out when I was little. It was a nervous or possibly an OCD thing. He probably has the same exact thing I did. Poor little guy, for some reason I worry about him the most, I always have. I see possibly some ADHD but definitely OCD characteristics. Besides all of this, he is the funniest little boy ever. He has a laugh that can light up and entire room. This is my last year to soak up all of his baby-ness. Next year, he heads to Kindergarten, he's excited but I'm nowhere near ready! 

Dylan, oh Dylan! My relationship has came so far with this child. Admittedly, I struggled horribly bad the 1st year but now, we are pretty much inseparable. He follows me every single place I go in the house, LOL....I hold him A LOT, he's a snuggle bug. He is trying to talk, I believe Anna is actually teaching him. He now says Hi, and here. I work with him all day long but don't get too far, or that's how it seems. He's extremely intelligent, knows everything I'm saying. He can throw things in the trash, get anything I ask for, go upstairs to bed, knows who is who by name and the dogs....he points a lot and even though it's frustrating because I'd love to hear him say some words, it's also very normal. Dylan does have some behavioral issues, he whines A LOT. He's extremely sensitive and I'm not use to that in the rest of the children. Every tiny thing sets him off or he gets upset over it. I struggle with empathy because the whining is so excessive that it drives me crazy. Dylan and Anna are best buddies. He gets so excited to see her in the mornings and plays very well with her, for the most part. They have their moments but get along most of the time. Speaking of Dylan, he just turned 2! We are having his birthday party this coming weekend. We decided to do an "art" party. It will be a ton of fun. 

Anna, my sweet baby girl. Oh I get butterflies when I talk about her. I don't know what it is about having a girl, but it has been so much fun for me. I tell Gabe that she's my personal baby doll. I have pretty much taken care of her solo since she's been born and it's by choice. I rarely ask for any help from Gabe because I can't get enough of her. Don't get me wrong, I do not love her anymore than any of the rest of the kids, I believe it's just that I can relate to being a girl and dang....I love dressing her up! I can't do that with the boys. My boys are so sweet, though, and have my heart along w/ Anna! So she's still extremely small for 16 months. She's around 16.6 lbs the last time I checked. Her appetite is picking up and I give her whole milk during the day. She nurses maybe once during the day and a couple times throughout the night. I'm not ready to stop nursing, she's my last and I want to savor all of these baby moments. The Dr. doesn't seem concerned about her or at least wasn't at her year check up. I'm sure if she stays that small at her 18 month check up, they will run tons of labs. I pray nothing is going on and she's just small. She isn't walking yet but is beginning to stand on her own for a few seconds, that's a huge step for her! She is a tippy toe baby, she isn't use to standing flat footed and I believe that's the main reason she isn't taking steps. Again, this is normal as long as she is beginning to take steps by 18 months. Dylan didn't take steps until 18 months so I'm not overly worried. She has cut 2 top teeth and I can tell she's cutting the bottom ones soon. She can say Hi and wave, I love it! She will say Hi several times back to back.

So me...well nothing too exciting. I stay home with the kids most days unless Gabe is home and he's able to work around them and my mom does help me 3 days a week with Matthew and sometimes Dylan. I was able to escape to the beach this summer w/ the kids for a little over 4 weeks. I hope we can do it again next summer! I've been working out...some, however, I haven't done that well lately. I get so sleepy when the weather begins to change. The sun goes down, so do I. I haven't lost as much as I had hoped by now but I keep going back and forth between eating well and vacations but I'm home for good now for a while so time to get back into it. I have a FitBit that I absolutely LOVE! It keeps me motivated.

We are STILL in the process of moving. Gabe has worked his tail off lately on this house, getting it ready for us to move and get our next home. We have got to spread out and I'm so excited to decorate all the kids rooms. Haven't decided if we are doing a 4 or 5 bedroom house, depends on what we like. I just know I'm pretty darn excited and can finally see that light at the end of the tunnel. 

This has been the most challenging past 3 years for Gabe and I. We struggled with babies, depression, stress...you name it! I haven't talked but to just a few people of some of the things we were going through but all I can say is that we are in a much much much better place. It took work and commitment but we are getting there, I believe we will both be much stronger after all of this. I also suffered from severe postpartum and kept it a secret. It's unfortunate that instead of having REAL support, people are so quick to judge. I couldn't help what my hormones decided to do, it's part of having a child. I still struggle w/ depression but feel much better every single day. I struggle with anxiety the most, I have triggers that cause me to have anxiety attacks. At one point, I was having them every single day, multiple times a day. I believe the depression played a huge role. 

I'm excited to see what the rest of this year holds for my precious family. I thank God every single day for my sweet blessings even during those challenging days. My heart is full! ♥